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Fun with CBS Sportsline Player Updates Headlines

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by user Pean

These are actual headlines from player news updates from for Randy Johnson, Chien-Ming Wang, R.A. Dickey, Alex Rodriguez, Kerry Wood, Albert Pujols. and Bartolo Colon. They are not made up. The phallic references are just out of control. I swear they do this on purpose.

Randy Johnson

  • Big Unit ready to defy age, odds (2/17/06)
  • Johnson jacked up for finish (9/21/05)
  • Big Unit kicked out Friday (9/16/05)
  • Unit ain't all that of late (8/23/05)
  • White Sox pound on the Unit (8/21/05)
  • Big Unit feels good (8/18/05)
  • Big Unit still up in air (8/14/05)
  • Unit ready to roll on Tuesday (7/25/05)
  • Big Unit knocked around (7/2/05)
  • Unit solid vs. Mets (6/27/05)
  • Too much rest for Unit? (5/23/05)
  • Big Unit brings his 'A' game (5/16/05)
  • Big Unit beaten by Devil Rays (4/20/05)
  • Big Unit gets hammered (3/30/05)
  • Angels have interest in Big Unit (7/9/04)

Chien-Ming Wang

  • Wang looks sharp Thursday (3/16/06)
  • Blue Jays blast Yankees' Wang (3/6/06)
  • Yanks want Wang in their own camp (2/9/06)
  • Wang to stick in Yanks' rotation? (9/21/05)
  • Yanks' Wang saves rotation spot? (9/20/05)
  • Wang has 'long way to go' (7/27/05)
  • Yanks' Wang on exercise program (7/21/05)
  • Wang sparkles in Sunday's start (7/3/05)
  • Rays blast Yanks' Wang (6/24/05)
  • Wang to stick in rotation? (6/6/05)

Alex Rodriguez

  • A-Rod to hit in 2-hole (3/4/05)
  • A-Rod ready for action (8/19/04)

Kerry Wood

  • Wood remains stoic (6/24/04)

R.A. Dickey

  • Angels punish Dickey (3/16/06)
  • Dickey is feeling better (6/21/04)
  • Dickey gets rocked (6/13/04)

Albert Pujols

  • Pujols gets tossed in first inning (08/28/05)
  • Pujols quietly heating up (4/25/05)
  • Pujols an irrepressible force (4/13/05)
  • Pujols opens with two hits (4/5/05)
  • Pujols continues to sizzle (6/2/04)

Bartolo Colon

  • Colon might be cleared for WBC (2/25/06)
  • Colon flushed by Royals (4/11/05)
  • Colon stretches himself out some (3/27/05)



Fri 03/17/06, 10:16 am EST

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