Dear Eli Manning,
The first time I saw your Eli Manning is unstoppable commercial, I thought it was a skit for Saturday Night Live. I never knew you were so funny. I mean, it was a joke, right?
Don't take this the wrong way, but you doing a commercial that basically says "Eli Manning is unstoppable" is like a commercial that says " Peyton Manning is unmarketable", "The Cinncinatti Bengals are unarrestable" or " Glass Joe is unhittable". In other words, it's funny stuff.
Some people take a long time to get jokes. I bet it's hitting them now. They got knocked out of the playoffs-- no chance at the Super Bowl. Their season is over, and it's all a big joke. I bet they're giggling like crazy.
Anyway, as long as no one lets the New England Patriots in on the joke before the Super Bowl— the Giants will be champs!
Lucky for you I'm "unstoppable" at keeping secrets, and yours is safe with me.