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Article:Worthless SSR Talk on the NFL; Brett Favre is a Girl, Dwayne Jarrett Arrested

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Brett Favre is a Woman?

That's right, men crying is apparently a bad thing according to FOX News conservative radio talk show host Laura Ingraham. These are some of her quotes on Brett Favre's emotional retirement speech...

"All these years, and I didn't know there was a woman quarterback in the NFL. ...

"Brett Favre...we're watching this in the studio, obviously retiring from the NFL, great quarterback, handsome 38-year-old man, he gets up there and he does this press conference that was frankly one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen."

"That's a great message for young boys. 'Get up there and act like a girl and start blubbering like a baby."

Then, in her best impersonation of a crying toddler with its favorite toy taken away, she wah-wah-wah's while uttering in a mocking tone, "It's about me, it was never about me, but it is about me, bla, bla, bla" before returning to her regular voice and stating, "I could not believe what I was seeing."

What an imbecile. She's obviously never watched sports, or else she wouldn't make a statement like that. So you're telling me, you shouldn't cry if you're a man? And Brett Favre shouldn't break down because he is leaving the league, team, game he loved and played professionally for 17 years? Remember folks, Adam Morrison, T.O, Barry Bonds, Brett Favre, and any other man who has broken down is indeed a woman. Then again, I don't think Ingraham's married so....

He Went to Jarrett....Who Went to Jail

A USC wide receiver bombing in the NFL? Inconceivable!!! Dwayne Jarrett, the 2nd year player for the Carolina Panthers, was booked and charged with DWI. He was sent to a Mecklenberg County jail in North Carolina and was released on a $1,000 bond. If Jarrett is convicted, he could face disciplinary actions from the NFL. Keyshawn may have to come back before it is confirmed that USC produces the crappiest wide receivers to ever make the NFL.

Shaun Alexander Confused: Why Sign Jones?

Shaun Alexander is apparently wondering what is going on after the Seahawks signed a second running back in a week in Julius Jones. I think it goes something like this Shawn to solve the problem...you suck, TJ Duckett, Mo Morris and Jones are better than you, which means you're gone.

Falcons Release, Re-Sign Joey Harrington

Just days after Joey Harrington, alleged QB for the alleged Atlanta Falcons team, was released, the team felt that they should re-sign him. Atlanta also released Byron Leftwich, who should feel awful that he got released and Joey Harrington got re-signed. Harrington is one of the biggest busts in this decade, why are any of you guys giving him a shot? But it's the Falcons, they like to fail, as shown in their year-by-year records.

Trent Green Gets Signed By Rams

This section of the article was first written on Stupid Sideline Reporters, celebrating a birthday on March 21st.

Trent Green cannot go away. Even with all of his concussions and poor play, the St. Louis Rams somehow found it logical to sign him up! According to FOX’s Jay Glazer:

Green told FOXSports.com that he’s agreed to a three-year, $9 million deal with the Rams.

The Rams were an attractive destination for Green because it allowed him to go back home to Missouri as well as play for an organization he had already spent time with in 1999 and 2000.


In his second stint with the Rams, Green will be the backup behind Marc Bulger. He was supposed to be the starter in 1999 before a preseason knee surgery paved the way for Kurt Warner, who led the Rams to their first Super Bowl victory.

Green visited Rams Park last week and had been mulling a decision whether to keep playing. He replaces Gus Frerotte as Bulger’s backup.

“We have now solidified our quarterback position,” coach Scott Linehan said. “You will be hard-pressed to find the quality we have at that position.”

Both Green and Bulger have played in two Pro Bowls.

THREE YEARS???!!!! Are you kidding me? And knowing how Bulger is injured every other game, Green is asking for it. What was the need to sign him anyways? Please Trent, retire, before you end up having the problems Ted Johnson and Steve Young have today. Don’t take the risk.

Well that's it from me, and I didn't even bash a Patriots fan in this article!! I'm so EMOTIONAL!!!! This is SSR, now a transsexual now that I'm crying according to Laure Ingraham, saying good bye.


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