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Article:Why Isn't My Phone Ringing ?

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The free agency period started in the NFL over 15 hours ago, and so far, neither my phone NOR my agent's phone has rung. And before you ask, I did check, and nobody has called my Mom's house looking for me either.

WTF ? Just because I have never played a single down of organized football,I am horribly overweight and out of shape, and I am incredibly lazy, I don't get to cash in on Free Agency ? that doesn't seem fair. It seems downright un-American if you ask me.

 I thought for sure I would get at least a one year deal worth a couple of million. I mean, I'm not greedy. 4 or 5 million would be fine. it doesn't all have to be guaranteed. I'm not looking for a huge signing bonus or anything, a million or million and a half would be fine.

 You know what I think it is ? Ithink it's that old bastard Al Davis in Oakland.He's badmouthing me all over the league. He's pissed at me because I bought the last silver and black track suit at Marshalls' just before he could. I saw it first! Fair is fair, as they said in The Legend Of Billie Jean.

He holds such a grudge. He's gonna be hearing from my attorney.

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