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The beliefs we have about ourselves, about what we should have accomplished, about how we should behave, about what a mother, family, or wife is determine whether we are satisfied with ourselves and ultimately whether we love and accept ourselves. Many women feel frustration and even self-hatred or at least disappointment surrounding their roles as wives, lovers, career women, and mothers. They hold themselves to standards that are based on rules. These rules are based on beliefs about what a woman is.
Women do have a quest at this time in our culture. It is the quest to fully embrace their feminine nature, learning how to value themselves as women and heal the deep wound of the feminine.
What is the deep wound of the feminine? For at least over 4500 years, women, most particularly, woman's sexuality, has been the domain of the men in their lives; whether it be fathers, brothers, husbands, lovers, or even judges. I am not launching a feminist tirade, but it is critical to acknowledge where we've come from and what the past was like for women who came before us.
Each individual is birthed from the societal stew yet our lives are our own expression and responsibility. Part of being an adult is to learn how to stop blaming others and start manifesting ourselves, but this may be hard to do unless we carefully examine what we believe, where we came from, and how these two things relate to each other.
I use the illustration of the stew because a stew has distinct ingredients yet they all influence each other either through dominating flavoring or in more subtle ways. All the ingredients take up the properties of everything that is in the stew. The properties from our societal stew linger in our minds acting like silent partners - governing our lives (our subconscious mind).
Can you name something you did in the last week but now you have no idea why you did it? Or did you do something you swore you wouldn't do, but did?
When we take action and make decisions that later baffle us, it is often our silent partner who made the decision for us. Our silent partner believed it was acting in our best interests. It acted for our own survival, to avoid a more painful outcome, or to support subtle - yet critical beliefs we hold. Our silent partner is running around, behind our backs, shaping our lives into something that we later say, "This isn't how I thought my life would be."