Here it is Monday, February 11, 2008…Eight days after the Giants showed the world that nobody’s perfect in what could arguably be the best Super Bowl in, well, Super Bowl history. I’m betting Patriot fans would likely disagree with that notion, although who knows? They’re still sobbing to no end! Cuddling in bed at night with all their Patriots stuffed animals, sucking their thumbs, etc.. One thing that’s a fact about Super Bowl 42, which is unarguably is it was simply the most watched Super Bowl.
Now word comes that the team that gave us the "original" Spygate, well, turns out their fans are getting in on the act…Almost as if a Spygate 2.0 version has been launched. Why? Good question…Turns out fans of the New England Patriots are demanding that the NFL investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII because, well get a load of this, they feel cheated. Sadly, I must admit, I’m not making this up! Hell, I don’t even think the "Creative King" himself, Kevin Hart, could construct such a hoax! On second thought, I take that back…I’m underestimating his talents!
Turns out cheaters are crying, ( I mean Pats fans) demanding that the NFL investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII…According to the disgruntled Patriot fan who created the original petition on petitiononline.com. Oh man, this is just too hilarious…Arguing the game clock should not have stopped following Brandon Jacobs' fourth-and-one plunge and thus, the game should have ended on the sack of Eli Manning with 50 seconds remaining. Okay, at the time of Brandon Jacobs plunge I’ll admit that I noticed the game clock on the Fox ticker not running…But hey all New England assholes who signed this petition, I figured out something that obviously you "Crying Cats", (I’m going to copyright that) are still too busy crying in your chowder & beer to realize that it was an administrative time-out. What’s that? Oh, just a slight overlook by petitiononline.com supporters. See, the referee's were determining whether or not to measure the spot and last time I checked, something that requires a clocks-stoppage under NFL rules. Once the first down was determined without a measurement, the clock was wound and continued to run…(For further reference, please refer to the NFL Rule & Regulations Manuel)
Although I supposed you whiners in the next coming days are going to pull a Roger Clemens and somehow tape a phone conversation with Roger Goodell, trying to prove that the Giants really did "cheat"! That Jimmy Hoffa was the honorary clock operator for New York’s last drive! Next stop, Congress and Capital Hill! Oh wait, lets not get too ahead of ourselves here, I just remembered something. What’s that? Oh, just a slight overlook by petitiononline.com supporters. See, The referee's were determining whether or not to measure the spot -- something that requires a clocks-stoppage under NFL rules.
Okay, let’s just say Jimmy Hoffa was manning, (no pun intended) over the clock operation…HELLO! If anything, using this logic conveyed by these petition protesters this petition proves that New England shouldn't have had 35 seconds left on their next possession. If anything, they should have had 29 seconds or less. Oops, another slight oversight! So here’s the way I see it eight days later…It's over, the Giants are the Super Bowl Champions and you’re the CHUMPS! If you want something to cry about, how about the biggest choke job in history! Then again, it’s all a conspiracy…The referees had no business deciding whether or not to measure the spot, now did they?
Although I will say in their defense that I wish I would’ve had the brain trust to come up with such as notion regarding Super Bowl XLI. As a die hard Bear fan, right now I’m literally kicking the shit out of myself for not orchestrating such a petition regarding that fact that Wrecks Grossman was the starting quarterback, (or impersonating one anyway). We all know that if Wrecks wasn’t behind center the Colts would’ve never stood a chance! I’m hereby demanding that the NFL have Super Bowl XLI be replayed, (this time can we please have some damn sunshine! My damn shoes were still soaked a week after I sat in that damn down pour)! Everything except the opening kickoff be wiped from the history books…And I betcha I’m not the only one who feels this way either! So I hereby declare starting a petition… "Bears Got Cheated Before Pats Got Cheated"! The website for signatures will go live in a few days! I have you know that I’m prepare to take this all the way to Congress, so they have no choice but to intervene and see that the game is replayed!
And on the note, there’s only one thing left to say… Stay Classy New England! Stay Classy!