ArmchairGM Burns 3/13/08

  By: Nate Gordon

Note:Any spelling, information or grammar errors are the fault of Manny who I've replaced President Bush with today as the guy who is to blame for everything wrong in the world.... that is all. 

  So another work week comes to a close and another set of sports information has been submitted, discussed, digested, and masticated. For those with smaller vocabularies those mean posted, talked about, thought about and chewed on. Anyway, what we’re here to discuss is what went down Thursday – and let me tell you: there was no shortage of drama and discussion over the last 24 hours. We’re talking teams on the bubble, MLB Previews, A Football Team of superheroes and the 3rd degree, which is a “soapbox” derby. So without further stalling...

Agent Zero – General Manager: Marvel Football Team

Agent0 has compiled the Marvel Superhero Football Team and in two words I can tell you what I think: Love It. Although I wonder where Flash is, your punt returner maybe? Wait, Flash is DC Comics isn’t he? Well screw it then, don’t listen to me, head over to Agent’s article and check it out, he breaks down all positions and it’s a fun read.

Note: While reading the article will not make you a nerd. It’s very possible that reading or adding to the comments will. Do this at your own risk. Again, your being or becoming a nerd is neither Agent’s fault nor my own.

Get ya Bubble Busted? Take It like a Man!

I hate teams who play themselves out of being a contender, and then blame something or someone or a specific incident for their misfortune. If after 35 games your application for the tournament looks like a C student who smoked his way through high school, I’m sorry Syracuse and Arizona State, but postseason play isn’t meant for you. Postseason play is for the nation’s top 65 teams, not the nations 34 conference winners and then 31 other mediocre major conference teams. Well JBorhood knocks it out of the park with his first article on AGM: Bubble Teams. Like JBorhood put it: “Bubble teams are just good enough to be boring, but not good enough to be relevant.”

Pean Gets MLB Previews In Line


Pean decided that we were very scatter-brained when it came to our MLB previews. So Pean combined his love of sports with his love of technology and I’m sure snacks were near by as he compiled the MLB Previews page.  This will be a great resource as we head into the back side of March and Opening day approaches. Make sure to add anything you may find to that page, like all AGM pages it can be edited by anyone.


The 3rd Degree Holier-Then-Thou/Soapbox Preaching


Nothing says hypocrite more then someone who emulates those who he bashes in his title. Well, I am going to do my best to not be preachy or… er, soapboxy as I go over those who look down upon others, usually using some out of line comparison. Our resident soapbox preacher Cougar2K of: “You can’t question how I raise my kids/my parenting skills” fame is known for taking a situation, comparing it to something much worse, then standing over it and wagging his finger. I get so damn annoyed by this behavior it makes me want to slap him around in the debate forum. I don’t have time to do that every day, we both have households to maintain and jobs to work. However, when taking a look at some of his recent works of “Soapbox Preacher” I can’t help but set him straight. Explain to me Cougar how OU choosing to let Josh Jarbobe keep his scholarship through due process is a bad thing? How is letting the kid have his day in court before taking action against him a bad thing? This is where he goes bonkers:


 ” Have you learned nothing from Columbine, Virginia Tech and Northern Illinois?! If it were me, I would have stripped him of the scholarship the second I found out about it and given it to a non-athlete. Then if he were found innocent, then I would make him walk on and earn the money.” WHAT!?!? Are we serious right now? This alledged incident is now as serious as VA Tech or Columbine!?!?! That is not only inane, but irresponsible of you to write! How dare you water down those incidents with such irresponsible use of hyperbole. Moreover, IF he is innocent you would make him walk on? Where is the justice in that? Giving his scholarship away before due process? Your unfit to run a General Store Cougar, your unfit to run a High School program. Also, don’t run out these bull-crap excuses about violence rising in the african-american (I’m insulted by that by the way, so we’ll use Black) community.


Your going to act without due process and strip a teen who has been accused of nothing of his scholarship. That sir, in my opinion could be viewed as an act of racisim. You haven’t heard his side of the story. What if the gun was already in the car, he then discovered it and was caught while questioning why it was there? You have no clue what happened, yet you rush to judgement and action. How dare you when a young man’s future is on the line. I find that type of thinking detestble. Taken rash actions against a young man because something “might” happen. Yeah, well what if? So what? What if I go to lecture and stalk a girl back to her room? Just because it’s possible, do you want to drop me from my classes? Man, people who think like this are what’s wrong with our Senate and how we’re raising our kids.


Quotes Of The Day


  • Let’s start with one from me as a pre-response to my 3rd Degree: “Dear whomever, I don’t care what you think about what I wrote. –Nate”
  • Cornfed78 has a more resonable stance then myself: “Honestly Cougar if you saved all these up and did like a weekly "Cougar's Corner" or "Cougar's View from the Box", I'd vote for every single one. Just throwing that out there.”


  • Dan needs help doing some promotional stuff on Monday. It is a pretty simple 5 minute thing you can do right at your computer. For more details message Dan. Tyrone is wary however: “Uhhh, can you be a little more specific? If this entails holding a huge sign for '' on the shoulder of the Dan Ryan, I'm out...”


  • BigPPup has some clairfications on where Juggernaut fits into the Marvel Football Team: “Juggernaut comes in to run the jumbo packager on the goal line, and catch that pass out in the flats with the iso on the linebacker.” ‘’’I totally agree, Juggernaut would be unstoppable in the flat and on screens. He would make a hell of a fullback as well.’’’


  • Time to school SSR: “4. David Beckham signs with LA Galaxy, saying "he's always wanted to be a soccer player". Beckham has scored no goals in MLS play.” Really? So that free kick at Giants stadium in the loss to Red Bull New York didn’t make Joe Conway look like a bafoon as it ripped the net? Come on the guy played on 1 leg for 6 weeks because the Galaxy crapped the bed on the promotions and lied about how bad he was injured. Cut the guy some slack, he’s still human kiddo.


  • My favorite Boston Sports Fan The Pip has returned. I just wanted to take a chance to say welcome back and I’ll be glad to piss you off and make you feel like I’m talking down to you soon enough.


Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?

Glurmo : Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Tell them I hate them.”


And we are double dipping today because it’s Friday and I said so:


Captain Zapp Brannigan : One day, a man has everything. Then the next day, he blows up a billion dollar space station. And then the next day, he has nothing. Makes you think, huh, Kif?

Kif Kroker : No, it doesn't.”




Mr. Burns AGM Mascot



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