AGM Burns 3/10/08

By: Nate Gordon

As I left dinner with my Dad, brother and sister on Monday night I turned to my Dad and said: "Did you see the Lakers mail it in Sunday night?"

"Well, they didn't really mail it in..." he started

"Oh come on, it's the Kings, not on national TV on a Sunday night on March 9th. They mailed that one in." I jumped in.

"Ya your right, they really did kinda of half ass the middle of the game."

I can't explain why NBA teams half ass so many middle of the season games. I guess it's hard to get motivated 82 times in 7 months and still have enough left for 6 weeks of playoffs. Regardless, we don't make millions doing the burns, so we don't mail it in. Today we are glancing at storming the court, What Would Oakley Do?'s starting five and The 3rd Degree. So roll with us, Kool and the Gang and Coolio on a Fantastic Voyage of sports debauchery.

Storming The Court Takes Responsibility to be Fun

In high school our student section rushed the court after several big wins during my time as a painted fanatic in the "'O Zone". It was never much of a danger because there were only 100-150 people (also, because it was a high school event, the lack of drinking has a lot to do with it being safe.) However, in college there are hundreds of students, many intoxicated, attempting to reach center court. For situations like this our friends over at The Sports Apple have drawn up Rules and Protocol for Storming the Court]. For those users still in college, and those in high school who are preparing to go to college, this is a must read. He breaks down how schools with winning traditions should show class and never take the court and schools with some tradition can only take the court if the beat one of the top notch programs. He also breaks down how other programs on the ladder should act. However, he doesn't spend more time on how to do it safely, effectively, and in a manner in which the administration won't take it away from you. So in my eyes, it's a good article, but it only covers half the situation in the detail it desires.

What Would Oakley Do?'s daily blog, Sink or Swim?

I notice that What Would Oakley Do? puts out a daily basketball blog. It gets a quick glance and a vote from a few users. However, it doesn't get the traffic a daily NBA blog should at this time of year. So I want to take a moment to see what he is doing right, wrong and if it is even all that interesting. Tuesday's blog starts with a synopsis of the Houston Rockets 19 game winning streak. He covers a little NCAA ball, but that's okay because it is tourney time. Then he jumps over to Tennis, it's his blog, so lets keep it pushing. He sums it up with 2 sentences on the Spurs, Hedu and Lebron and something about the Yankees. Overall I gave it a two and a half or 3 out of five. It was decent, but a little more focused time and effort would get the blog much more attention.

The 3rd Degree Talking TV Heads, Aspire To Be Better

So Manny Stiles decided that it would be a great idea to dump about 1,700 word into an article on how dumb sports fans are, and basically how dumb the talking sports heads on TV are as well. I'll be honest, did I read the whole 1,700 words? Hell no. Does that make me one of Manny's statistics instead of my own man? Most likely. Will that keep me from having a bold opinion on the subject? Never!

When I have the chance (read: When I can't find the remote and am too "lazy" too move.) I watch ESPN's "Around the Horn" and "Pardon the Interruption". Both shows feature sports writers giving their opinions on the sports news of the day. People watch this stuff, accept it as fact, then use it as their own arguments in everyday life. They use such golden sources as Skip Bayless, Woody Paige, Bill Plaschke, Jay Mariotti, Colin Cowherd, Mike Greenberg and Tony Kornheiser as their sports Wikipedia. This is a disgustingly lazy practice that promotes bad ideas and concepts without fact or knowledge base support. However, they take the opinions of these AP fools as the golden scripture of sports. It's all pretty facking disgusting if you ask me. Here's a thought, go read up on what they're talking about for 20-30 minutes and form your own opinions and arguments. Become an innovator and a thinker, instead of a mindless drone reciting the ramblings of 40 and 50 year old, literal armchair general managers. The most powerful weapon you have in your arsenal is your brain, apply it and do something positive. Instead of annoying your friends with your Skip Bayless-ish debates.

"I'm so hungry I could ride a horse. Wait, I don't get it. Well I guess I could ride it to the store." Chris Griffin.


Mr. Burns - AGM Burns Mascot.

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