AGM BURNS 3/12/08

by: Nate Gordon

It's a rapid fire edition of the ArmchairGM Burns. Not because I'm being lazy or am short on time, but because I want to see how much content I can actually get into this clown car before the whole thing goes apeshit. It's not like yesterday's edition was bad, it's just that Homeland Security called my cell phone to inquire about the President not only being the cause of the world's evil; but also to sort through this business about gasoline and tying him to a pole. I forwarded them the information of Jamel Bryant and KillingPablo. Here we go, rapid fire style.

Baseball Notebook: 1200 Quality Articles

The guy who doesn't use pronouns has just submitted his 1200th edition of Baseball Notebook to Baseball Etcetera. Niteowl is a war veteran with decades of baseball expierence has has been contributing the Baseball Notebook since 2004. It is amazing to see a series reach into it's 4th year (which on the internet is like 25 years.) I stand today and give Niteowl a thunderous ovation, he deserves it. Here's to the next 1200 Baseball Notebooks!

Hot Links: Deja Vu?

While glancing at the hot links I couldn't help be feel like I'd seen them at some point before. So let's go over the link titles and see if there strike a little total recall in your memory:

"Kevin Garnett Proves He Can Touch Rim"

(Didn't he do that every time he's dunked the last 12 years? Maybe this should be titled "KG Proves He Can Touch Rim in 4th Quarter." or "KG Proves he Can Play Defense at the Rim in 4th Quarter."?)

"Tommy Bowden is a Douchebag"

(Who was this breaking news to?)

"Cuban Soccer players defect during Olympic Qualifying"

(Again, a surprise to anyone? As long as none of them are named Antonio Montana.)

"Linehart now certified to keep Cardinals from becoming cardiac."

(So Matt Linehart got his EMT license? So what? Can Linehart keep the Cardinals over .500? Ya, no. That's what I thought too.)

A Decade Later in MLB Part II

If you missed part one of our buddy BobbyJim45's series, A Decade Later In Baseball, your either new to ArmchairGM or a facktard who won't take my advice to spite me. So do yourself a favor and check out Part II. Bobby used part 1 to look at the blind eye that was turned as we were mesmerized by the summer of '98 and that Mike Hampton/Greg Maddox ad series "Chicks Dig the Long Ball". Oh don't forget the expansion that included Arizona Diamondbacks and newly renamed Tampa Bay Rays. The highlights of this feature by far are a Drunken David Wells pitching a perfect game and Cal Ripken's ending of the iron man streak. Oh, and don't forget to checkout the picture and section on Jose Canseco, the man who has made sure the history of the game can't be told without his name Oh and Bobby, I caught your Kayne drop ;).

The Final Edition of the CONCACAF Champions Cup

The Champions Cup has decided the best professional soccer team in North America since 1962. Pittsburgh Gunny walks us through the Champions Cup Draw for this, the final time the tournament will be held. This summer CONCACAF will start the CONCACAF Champions League which will be based somewhat on the UEFA Champions League and South America's Copa Libertadores. Like last year the MLS teams that earned spots are the Supporters Shield (League) Champions DC United and MLS Cup Champions Houston Dynamo. I won't get too deep into his article but if you even remotely enjoy soccer this is a good read. The games that you would care about should air on Fox Soccer Channel. Other then prize money and the Champions Cup, the winner earns regional respect and a birth into the 2008 FIFA Club World Cup held yearly in Japan.

The 3rd Degree ManRays breaks down Yanks/Rays

First things first, the media will take the opportunity to be idiots and run with it like people who go to They will try to take a small incident and blow it up into the Pedro/Zimmer incident. They will try to take a spring training mixer between bench and AAA players and turn it into George Brett having his home run taken away. But screw it, the Tampa Bay Rays are getting national media, and it's not for a losing streak or lack of attendence so lets push forward!

Let's start with agreeing with Manny, the play at the plate 2 days ago between Eliott Johnson and Yankees catcher Franisco Cervelli was a clean play. Johnson did not spear Cervelli, Cervelli is trying to make the team just like Johnson is, and most important, JOHNSON WAS OUT. JOHNSON WAS OUT AT THE PLATE.

Apparently that meant nothing to Yankee manager Joe Girardi who as a former catcher, only saw himself in Cervelli's position. Using that bias, he allowed Heath Phillips to beam Rays top rookies Evan Longoria. Girardi should of known, being a recently retired player, that this would spark further problems. With emotions high and egos out of control Shelley Duncan slapped a ball into left field and pushed for extra bases. As the throw came in, Duncan raised his left spikes and planted them into the inner thigh of the second basemen. This became a brawl at the center of the benches clearing fight, and a shoving contest on the outer edges.

Joe Girardi should be ashamed of his behavior as Yankee manager. He allowed his "player ego" to get in the way of his managerial common sense and it betrayed him in the worse way. Some may hope this turns into a Yanks/Rays rivalry. I think it will only end in one player from one of these teams getting hurt. Let's hope not, but when you think with your dick instead of your brain, dumb shit happens. It's a fact.

"Now I have you right where I want you"

"But if you kill us you'll never find the treasure."

"Treasure? What treasure?"

"The treasure of.... Imma Wiener."

"I'm, a, wiener?"

"HAHAHAHAHA... classic"

The Simpsons Movie


Mr. Burns - AGM Mascot

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