ArmchairGM Burns: Kobe Bryant, Thank You

By: Nate Gordon

Before you think this is a Kobe Bryant pole polishing, I must provide a caveat to your assumptions. There will be a proper segment of this weekend’s “Burns” dedicated to Kobe and the Los Angeles Lakers; however, there are other interesting things happening on the site. With so many intriguing stories peppering the front page, I must provide reactions.

Shrubbery: Brings True Opinion To ArmchairGM

There are a lot of smart people on ArmchairGM, there are also a lot of fools. However, intelligent or foolish, you have an opinion. One of the more witty, and bold users is Shrubbery who has been particularly active in the last couple of months. He is sure to save something controversial from time to time, but he is also well mannered, well tempered and in general a friendly guy. It makes it easier to debate and have fun taking sports with a guy who is willing to give you an off the wall opinion, but is also witty enough to be able to back up something wild. I enjoyed his latest offering, The Worst Venues In Sports so if you haven’t already, check out the “picture journal”.

Crackajg – You had Me at Powerless…

I’m a fan of a lot of things like come from The Sports Crack and especially the Powerless Rankings. Oh, and you fans of the “Mediocre Mention” – you’re welcome, that was me coining that phrase. Anyway, he’s expanded the rankings to include the “Powerful” or the Top 5 teams as ranked by Sports Crack. We were all good until he scratched he did this: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I as usual want to scream. Just when I thought I could get 200 words into the Burns without screaming. Ah screw it, Kobe’s the MVP – I don’t care about the Golden State Angles of Orange County today.

Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant: 2008 NBA MVP

Thank You Kobe Byrant

It may seem odd that I am thanking Kobe for winning his first Most Valuable Player award, but I actually find it quite proper. You see, I have been watching Kobe Bryant since his high school press conference in 1996. There was something special about he carried himself, even as a teenager, and that one sentence that afternoon changed his whole life “I’m going to take my talents to the NBA.” It is incredible to think that is has been 13 full NBA seasons, all in Los Angeles, all as a Laker. Watching the young man grow from Del Harris’ bench to a conflicted budding superstar to the best player on the face of the earth. A maturation process that took the entire 13 years and only this season came together as a worthy MVP season. A season where Kobe the player and Kobe the person finally evolved over Kobe the ego-maniac and became something greater them himself. So thank you Kobe for letting me enjoy watching you grow, and here is to hopefully several more years of great basketball from KB24.

Good and Bad Blog Theme Ideas

Blogs have all sorts of different themes to attract readers and establish their niche. Some like Kissing Suzy Kolber have been very popular, appealing to a variety of readers. While others like Jay the Joke hold on to a diehard, but small group of readers. So here are my list of 5 good and 5 bad blog themes:

Good Blog Themes

  • The Sports Apple: Sports and fruit are a good combination to me.
  • Afraid of Ed Hochuli: Fear is the sincerest form of flattery…. What? It isn’t? Well fack flattery then.
  • Hugging Harold Reynolds: You can hug him… but he’ll probably grab your bum.
  • Stupid Sideline Reporters: Half of the appeal would be like, you know, talking about Stupid Sideline Reporters more often than never.
  • Forum Blue and Gold: It’s gold school slang with new school appeal – we’re thumbs up for that.

Bad Blog Themes

  • Armchair Blows: In the words of Reed Dollarz: “I love my girls, I love my trigga/I love the weed I love you haters/ but there’s no more room on my dick so jump the f**k off”. Nothing screams “pay attention” to me more then dedicating your life to hating someone or something else.
  • Dead, Alive, and Mostly Dead: Eh, we’re not much a fan of marketing through corpses. Personal choice.
  • Your Secret is Safe With Me: See the thing with satire is it should be funny.
  • Lewy: Too close to Jewy for the LASB religion and gambling advisor – Jessie Quanberg.
  • People Roger Clemons Has Slept With: Showing your class with this one.

Cartoon Quotes

  • Leela : Mr Voggle ?, Remember me ?

Mr Voggle : Leela., You're worthless and no one will ever love you. [ both laughing and hugging ]

Leela : You used to say that all the time.

Mr Voggle : Those were happier days

  • Nibblonian : You are the last hope of the universe.

Fry : So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?

Nibblonian : Yes - except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock..

Homer Simpson : Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?

  • Homer : I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Mr. Burns - AGM Burns Mascot

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