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Article:The Eenie-Meanie-Minie-Moes of College Football

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At long last, this edition of the college football season will commence this evening…And in doing so, not only will it end an entirely way too long bowl season, (can I get a hallelujah, followed by a hell yeah) but it will also leave us feeling like the lovely ladies working the corner of suck & fukc. Now don’t get me wrong, we all love climaxes, (right fellas) this game tonight although it will officially end the season…Although a climax is a long way from being reached!

All the BCS games have shown is what basically we already knew…Illinois had no business going to the Rose Bowl! Hawai’i was just a fraud…They were Boise State wannabes! Two BCS games that that couldn’t rake in more viewers than a Brady Bunch Marathon on Nick at Nite! Am I the only one who still has a thing for Marsha after all these years? No…Let’s not have Georgia and USC in the same game…Two of the best teams in the country. Two teams that deserved to play each other…No lets not do that! Well, that just makes too much sense, so I’m going to stop right there! Though I will say DAMN YOU ROSE BOWL…DAMN YOU BCS!

How awesome would it have been to see a West Virginia-Kansas matchup…My guess, um…Pretty damn good! Perhaps then I wouldn’t have been stuck with eating my Orange Bowl tickets for this year, (sad, but true story…not that I’m bitter or anything). Damn, two games, four worthy teams of staking their claim towards the nations best team…Oh well, tonight once again we are left with so many questions than answers. Hell, this is worse than having driven down to the corner of suck & fukc, having "Victoria" get inside the vehicle…Paying the piper for whatever "floats your boat", (or should I say "shakes & rocks" your ride) and having her say "time’s up" and flees your ride like a bat out of hell with you sitting there, with, well shall we call it "unfinished business"

Some say "that’s the beauty of college football"…Huh? Now, we all loved playing the game "eenie-meanie-minie-moe" when we were little ankle biters, but is this really the answer to crown a National Champion? I’ll be honest, I prefer duck-duck-goose myself…Or how about picking teams out of a hat? Whoever Miles Brand picks out of that hat is the National Champion! If that doesn’t float your boat, how about picking a number between 1-119, (or however many teams are in I-A…Yes, I said I-A). "Musical Chairs" might be a nice touch! Honestly though, I must say I’m a big fan and totality biased towards duck-duck-goose with the participants being "one hit wonder" Bill Stewart , Pete Carroll, Mark Richt, and Mark Mangino! Sounds comical, I know…Truth is, it makes a hell of a lot more sense than what we’re going to watch this evening! With both L-S-WHO and O-S-WHO quite simply being the benefactors of what is pure ridiculousness…Nothing more, nothing less! Although at least the BCS is consistent…For this same bullshit happened last year when the Gaytors were by-products of the system! Only difference is/was…Both polls last year went along with that bull shit and looks like this year only one will because all the coaches don’t have enough grapes to say anything!

So Co-National Champions…Again! How awesome does that sound! Again! What a shame! We witnessed undoubtedly what was the single greatest college football season ever only to be left at the alter…Again! It’s for this reason, and this reason only why "bowl season" keeps getting less and less important to me! It doesn’t make my blood bubble like "Victoria" in the Buick Regal! At least she stays and finishes what she starts! God love that dirty hoe!

Honestly, (I hope I’m not turning gay of something) but I’ve actually watched more hockey than college pigskin throughout the "bowl season"! Now that’s some scary shit! How awesome was that Winter Classic? Surprisingly the bowl game that I’d watched the most of was, get this, the New Orleans Bowl. Why? Long story! It seems that’s the growing trend and annual answer at seasons end of the college football season too…Tonight included!

So who’s the best team in college football for 2007? Is there really an answer to that question?? All I do know is that the two teams who are taking the field tonight, one of them will be crowned National Champions…Now is that title deserving? Let the debating begin my friend…That’s if it hasn’t done so already!

See ya next year for the same bullshit song and dance!

Make sure you "ROCK THE VOTE" in the " Caucus" which is trying to determine who’s the more "Laughable Liar?" Two worthy candidates, but one can have the distinction! As a fan of the spits and spats coming out of the LastRow help decide!…Polls are open now, so be heard America! Just like Roger Clemens was heard on 60 minutes!

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