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Article:Sunday Smoker - August 3, 2008

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A weekly look at the HOTTEST people in sports!

Since we already have a Friday Fryer for the biggest idiots in sports, I figured we could use a recap of some of the smokin' hottest people in sports. They can be on a hot streak, a big-game winner, being lusted after by other teams, whatever. They just gotta be SMOKIN' HOT!

A late, late, unconventional edition of the Smoker as we head into the dog days of summer...


Some people have been complaining about the lack of activity here on the 'Chair... OK, I admit it, I am a culprit. I've spent the past two weekends hosting some friends from Virginia here in Florida, and then performing assorted drunken shenanigans with my siblings and cousins on Cape Cod. Summer is summer for a reason... get off the computer and get outside. I'll save my best AGM work for the fall when I need a reason to procrastinate when I'm supposed to be studying.

The Housing Market (for athletes, anyways)

This week saw the relocation of many of the biggest stars in sports: Ron Artest (from Sacramento to Houston); Mark Teixeira, (from Atlanta to Los Angeles); Ken Griffey Jr. (from Cincinnati to Chicago); Manny Ramirez (from Boston to Los Angeles), and Jason Bay (from Pittsburgh to Boston). All will be looking for an obnoxiously large place of new residence in their new town (although Manny might just set up shop in one of those taco trucks, just because it's convenient and he could travel around L.A. declaring his undying love for the city).


If you haven't seen the video of the black bear, fox and deer-like creature (I think it's a jackalope) frolicking delightfully on the Broadmoor course at the U.S. Senior Open, I would highly recommend it. Also, Carlos Beltran of the New York Mets had to avoid a bird in center field while making a home-run-robbing catch at Shea. And Indians pitcher Paul BYRD (get it? Byrd sounds like bird?) had an excellent week, notching two wins with an ERA of 0.61. Whenever my two passions, sports and animals, come together in a spontaneous moment of awesomeness, it absolutely makes my day. On a non-sports related note, my sister's Husky hound mix Meeko has just killed a prairie dog.

Jon Lester, Pitcher, Boston Red Sox

Shhhhhhhhhh... don't tell anyone... Jon Lester is becoming one of the best starters in the American League. After a year and a half of maddening inconsistency, high pitch counts, and pitching at a slow pace, the 24-year-old has put it all together. After winning the clinching Game 4 of the World Series against the Colorado Rockies, Lester has fallen into an awesome groove, pitching seven innings or more in his eight of his last nine starts. He hasn't lost a start since May 25. He's 6th in the AL in ERA at 3.14, and is tied for the league lead in shutouts with two. Most importantly, Lester's health and durability have been his biggest contribution to the rotation... he's tied for the most starts in the AL with 23, and is 7th in the AL in innings pitched. How's that Johan-Santana-trade-the-Sox-didn't-make looking right about now? Pretty awesome, thank you very much.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

The Angels are one of the best teams in the American League... Yawn. The Angels can pitch their asses off... Yawn. The Angels' trade for Mark Teixeira...DAAYYYYYYYYYYYAM! L.A. is always the cream of the crop, or near it, in the AL, but this year it seems like they're going for all the marbles. By acquiring Teixiera, the Angels now have some much-needed thump in the middle of the lineup to protect Vladimir Guerrero. Although Teixeira hasn't started off as hot as the other new occupant of LalaLand, the Angels have a double-digit lead in the AL West and are poised for a deep run into October. I am officially scared sh*tless.

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