ArmchairGM Wiki

Article:Roger Clemens Mad Libs

12,202pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0

Last week, Roger Clemens vociferously denied ever being injected with anything by Brian McNamee.

Then, he semi-recanted, saying that he received shots of B-12 and lyocane.

Now, he's suing McNamee, claiming defamation.

Seems like his story is flexible.

With that in mind, I hereby present the newest game:


Play along, as Roger writes a letter to his close friend.

Dear <name of close friend>:

I'm saddened to hear that Brian McNamee lied to George Mitchell about my use of <drug of choice>. I want to <verb> that <adjective> with a <large object> in the <part of body>. Everyone knows that I have never <past tense of verb> the <noun>, especially not when I was a member of the <name of organization>. In fact, when I was with <name of the same organization>, I only ate <fruit> and <main course typically found at a Mexican restaurant> -- and of course, a lot of <made up word ending with -ine>. But baseball allowed that stuff back then!

It's really stupid. <Name of teammate with Yankees> never gets in trouble for doing the exact same thing. But then again, his wife is into group <kinky-sounding word that isn't really kinky -- like, "kumquat">, if you know what I mean. Dude, she and I once went to <subpar chain restaurant> and told each other stories about that time at band camp where she shoved a <musical instrument> up her <body part> and started playing <famous song>! It was awesome. Heck, she still calls me "<your middle name> <name of the street you grew up on>" and her <noun> of a husband hasn't figured it out yet. He's probably as gay as a <color> <musical instrument>, though.

Oh, anyway, this McNamee guy. I'm going to sue him for <number> trillion dollars. He's going to be bleeding money out his <body part> until the <plural form of farm animal> return to <location>, and I don't mean that lightly! Yeah, so what if he probably has like six dollars to his name -- this is about truth, justice, and being an upstanding member of <country>. And, of course, about clearing my name so no one asks me where to get more roids.

Oh, and that Mike Piazza guy? <Verb> him. <Verb> him really hard with a <noun>.

With love,


Also on Fandom

Random Wiki