In a story released earlier today, it was revealed that Roger Clemens once slept with an ex-wife of John Daly. However, we recently got a call from John Daly himself to clarify. An obviously perturbed Daly said, “Clemens never slept with my wife, he slept with me!” He continued, “I never even slept with that rag, she was just a cover. Roger and I weren’t quite ready for world to find out about us yet. I couldn’t help myself, he smelled like a mixture of bourbon and bravery.” Daly then continued his usual morning routine of golfing pantsless and smoking half a carton of Winstons.
Further bulletins as events warrant.