Moving on. It’s never an easy subject, regardless of what sub genre of U-Haul we’re discussing. For certain ex-lovers they just can’t let go. Lloyd Dobler, in the film Say Anything, comes back with boombox raise over his head; and Nola Rice, in Woody Allen’s Match Point, just won’t let go of adulterer Chris Wilton, even threatening to ruin his marriage. In sports, some guys can’t let go of the game (think Michael Jordan circa Wizards and George Foreman circa forever).

In search of the definition of moving on, I’ve researched the definition of moving itself. Moving is commonly defined as “in motion,” but a secondary definition is “producing strong emotion” and “sadness,” and a third definition is “changing one’s residence.” How does this relate to moving on? It looks to me like the definition of ‘moving on’ would be ‘the ability to change causing strong emotions that result in sadness.’

My favorite part about moving on is when the entity who wishes to depart is ‘upset’ about the move. We’ve all heard “this is going to hurt me as much as you” type of philosophies on break-ups, or the end of any form of relationship, working or otherwise. With the release of seven-time pro bowl linebacker Zach Thomas, new Miami Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland said, "Zach Thomas has been a great player on this team for many years…and because of the type of player and the kind of person that Zach is, this was not an easy decision." Sound familiar? I’m sure an ex-lover has said words that sound quite a bit like this, except replace “type of player” with “great boyfriend” or “best friend.” Most people agree, there’s nothing more annoying than when a female cries while dumping the unsuspecting boyfriend. Jeff Ireland is that crying ex-girlfriend.

Some moving on moments are a little bit easier than other. Someone like Alge Crumpler or Byron Leftwich, who have been cut by the Falcons, will be courted almost immediately. Kind of like the saying, “For every hot girlfriend, there’s a boyfriend who’s tired of f***ing her.” The Falcons were tired of football-fornicating with Leftwich and Crumpler, probably because their big contracts don’t match up well with their oft-injured bodies. Thus, someone else will want to hop in the sack with those two players, even if they’ve had a few bad moments in the past.

However, for aging and concussion riddled Zach Thomas, it’s a health risk for him to play and he might find a suitor or two, but it’s like jumping from a long term relationship right into something else, we all know it’s a rebound, just face the facts. For Thomas, this is the bridge between the Dolphins and retirement and/or an Alzheimer’s ward. Trent Green would be the 40-year old divorcee looking to get back on the market, but is damaged goods and an emotional (in this case injury) roller coaster waiting to happen. Someone else out there may wish to court him, but we know they’re just as desperate as Trent.

Whatever moving on path you choose to take: laying in bed sulking, finding the next ‘nice guy’ (read: rebound), finding a jump off (read hook-up), or picking up the pieces by hanging out with friends, moving on is not as easy as all your friends make it out to be. Leaving behind the feelings that came with being in a relationship with a girl you love, or playing the game you love on Sunday afternoons, requires time to walk away. Just give it time, and you’ll be okay, Zach.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.