ArmchairGM Wiki

Article:Look At Me! I'm Terrell Owens!

12,202pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0

by user FranklinNoble


So T.O. has attempted suicide.


Poor, miserable, narcissistic Terrell Owens has just tried to kill the one person he loves most.


Don't believe it. Not for one minute. This isn't a suicide attempt, it isn't a case of chronic, hidden depression, and it isn't a case of some poor millionaire athlete dealing with hidden demons because his parents didn't love him enough or he got picked on too much in school. It might be a cry for help, but not for any reason other than the fact that Owens can't seem to get enough attention.

Let's examine the facts (and we'll take these from the police report, posted over at The Smoking Gun):

  • Owens publicist, Kim Etheredge, made the 911 call. His PUBLICIST. Not his girlfriend, not his housekeeper, not some crony in his entourage, a trained, professional spin-doctor.
  • Etheredge reports that Owens took two pills in her presence, and she tried to remove them from his mouth. Yeah. I'm guessing Miss Etheredge isn't going to have any plausible chance at taking anything from the mouth of a 6'3” 224 pound professional athlete. But it makes for a dramatic scene. I can almost see the made-for-TV re-enactment now.
  • Owens tried to kill himself with pills.

Think about this – especially the part about the preferred “suicide” weapon.

If someone really wants to kill himself, he'll do it with a gun, or a tall building, or a bus. When you take a bunch of pills, in front of your publicist, you're crying for attention. You're not trying to kill yourself.

Maybe Owens is upset that he won't be able to play against Philadelphia and stick it to his old team. Maybe he realizes that his act is getting tired, and it's time to try something new. Maybe he wants people to be sympathetic towards him now, so he figures “conquering depression” and returning to the field might earn him some applause.

I don't know what his motivation is. But I do know this much – Terrell Owens is not depressed, and he did not sincerely try to kill himself.


Wed 09/27/06, 9:01 am EST

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki