Fandom

ArmchairGM Wiki

Article:How do you solve a problem like J-Roll?

12,202pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

♪♪♪♪  How do you solve a problem like J-Roll?


He climbs the order and gets an ofer

His uniform has got a tear

He whiffs on his way to .207

And pitch selection ain't there

And underneath his Oakleys

He has bravado in his heart

I even heard him singing in the dugout


He's always loathe to take

But his lack of patience is unreal

He's always loathe for walking

Only 16 times this year

I hate to have to say it

But I very firmly feel

Right now, he's not an asset to the Phillies


I'd like to say a word in his behalf

J-Roll is a fan favorite!


How do you solve a problem like J-Roll?

How do you stanch a proud man of renown?

How do you find a word that means J-Roll?

A fielding whiz! A baserunning threat! An MVP!


Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him

Many a thing he ought to understand

But how do you make him stay

And listen to all you say

How do you get Charlie on board?


Oh, how do you solve a problem like J-Roll?

How do you hold a talented mofo in your hand?


When I'm watching him I'm confused

Out of focus and contused

And I never know exactly why he's there

In the leadoff spot - despair!

He's swinging like a tether

He's a player! He's a leader! He's a fan fave!


He strikes out with some zest

Drive a manager to his rest

He could throw a whirling dervish out at first

He is talented! He is wild!

He's a riddle! He's a child!

He's a headache! He's a problem!

He leads off?!?


How do you solve a problem like J-Roll?

How do you stanch a proud man of renown?

How do you find a word that means J-Roll?

A fielding whiz! A baserunning threat! An MVP!


Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him

Many a thing he ought to understand

But how do you make him stay

And listen to all you say

How do you get Charlie on board?


Oh, how do you solve a problem like Charlie?

Please, Charlie move Jimmy down in the order!


Sing it to the tune of the great Rodgers and Hammerstein song "Maria" from the great movie The Sound of Music.

I apologize heartily to Mssrs. Rodgers and Hammerstein for what I've done to their fine creation.


Also on Fandom

Random Wiki