Was it spent anticipating another weekend charge by Tiger? Was it spent anticipating a collapse by the names on the top of the leaderboard only best known from doing a Google search? Was it spent by watching CBS’s wall-to-wall coverage, sitting on the couch, watching the boob tube without a care in the world scratching yourself to no end with the only care coming, and to why you could stop scratching the grapes. In that case then, well, you just might want to get that checked out! Who knows, you just might have made one to many visits to Amy’s Crab Shack-House!
Nonetheless, we all spent out Masters weekend differently. I’ll be honest, from Thursday through yesterday, I’ve watched more damn pond skating over the last 96 hours than I have in years. Why you ask? Hell if I know! Only thing I could come up with was, "they say", (whoever the hell they are) that we like to do our best dog eating impersonations and love to gnaw on ice when we’re sexually frustrated. Perhaps watching all that hockey was trying to tell me something? Well, that’s another cup of ice chips. However, it might be wise for me to consult with my doctor about this! Good thing I’ll be at the Playboy Mansion in a few weeks, to help correct and get this problem under control!
Oddly enough the Masters wasn’t doing anything for me this year. To me, this years Masters was along the same line as "Fantasia" who works at Lipsticks hugging her pole to make a buck. Very talented, just those "flapjacks" she sports, well they’re just the same size as Tiger’s. Yeah, if that gets the blood bubbling, well in addition to the Amy’s Crab Shack-House issues and hockey concerns, looks like that might be the least of one’s worries! Don’t get me wrong, I watched Hootie’s tournament…I don’t know though. I guess it goes back to the ole Tiger factor.
If he’s not playing in or contending in a tournament I guess, well nobody wants to watch "Fantasia" hug her pole! Can you say spoiled? Spoiled because he has done so over the course of the years drawing us to the game as we watch greatest as work, watching the ball, (for the most part obeying everything thing he wants it to do). We watch in awe, we, well, we love watching greatest at work and never seem to get tired of it. Yeah, I know, the Tigger one finished second and that’s astonishing considering that his putter went MIA aside from rolling that 80-footer in and thinking in was suddenly on like Donkey Kong, we all know that "distant" second place finish was simply due to the fact of names who had been in front of him falling off and burying their heads in the bunker.
What did we ever do before this cat? There was once a world without cell phones too. Holy smokes! I mean, we watched the Masters just to see who was going to win the tournament for that particularly year. Boy, how times have changed! Now we watch every tournament TW’s in almost with a different agenda. To witness greatest, (sorry LeBron, you got a long way to go, bud!). Now some will argue the domination of the PGA Tour isn’t healthy for the tour. And I’m willing to bet those were the same peeps who were seeing Michael Jordan and the Bulls win title after title, seeing the Lakers do their own three-peat. Greatest doesn’t come around like strippers in a club. It’s few and far between, thus the reason why we’re drawn to it! We want to see it every time we can. The reality is, like it or not, and like Tiger or not, Woods is golf and having him plastered all over the boob tube and in contention is what the majority of us wants to see and really is a wet dream for the PGA!
Now did we all feel good for Trevor Immelman last night? Well considering it was just four months ago, dude was in a hospital as doctors prepared to remove a tumor from his diaphragm, learning only after the operation that it was benign. So yes, I’d have to say it constitutes as a hell of a feel good story as Zach Johnson put the Green Jacket on Immelman. For the second consecutive year the Masters have brought two, golfers virtually unknowns and have written them in the history books forever. So much for needing that "Masters Experience" to hang a Green Jacket up in the closet!
Just I can’t help but wonder, what’s the bigger headline coming out of this first major of the year. Is it, Tiger will have to wait another year to pursue the Grand Slam. Something that we were all hearing so much about just a week ago. Or will it be of Trevor Immelman? Who? You know, that dude that actually won. The dude who had a tumor removed four months ago. Yeah, him! If I had to guess it’s just like everything else on the PGA Tour, it’s a Tiger’s World and everybody else is just living in it! Oddly enough, I think Trevor is just fine with that and relishes that fact that he beat Woods in a major! What’d you think?
Vote In LastRowSports. com new Pick’em Poll which tries to do its part by promoting the NHL and its playoffs. While watching the NHL might just be a task in itself seeing as how some boob tubes don’t even know what that hell that acronym by voting in this poll you’ll be spreading the awareness of what those three funky letters stand for! So simply put, who ya got in the battle of the "Lamp Lighters?" Sid the Kid or Alex the Great? Vote now, you non hockey loving bastards!