In the words of the great Jerry Seinfeld after George Costanza told him all his deep dark secrets and everything he was capable of, “good luck with all that.” It was an episode in which Jerry had become way too emotional and affectionate, and George “scared him straight.” That phrase became one of my all time favorites. I use it 5-10 times in a given week. You say “good luck,” but it's in regard to an impossible situation, like thank God I don’t have to deal with (insert your problem here). So without further ado, I would like to “wish” the following people, places, and things, a warm “good luck.”
To Aaron Rodgers for taking over as starting QB in Green Bay for Brett “I wouldn’t be surprised if they waived the 5 year rule to induct players in the Hall of Fame, because of how much everyone is in love with him” Favre. But take solace in the fact that Dan Marino was replaced in Miami… by Jay Fiedler, Damon Huard, Ray Lucas, Brian Griese, A.J. Feely, Sage Rosenfels, Gus Frerotte, Daunte Culpepper, Joey Harrington, Cleo Lemon, Trent Green, and John Beck. Oh yeah and Favre broke all of Marino’s records, won a Super Bowl, and is the only attraction in Green Bay. Good luck with all that.
To the Oakland Raiders for spending $105 million on 2 players coming off knee surgeries. Javon Walker and Tommy Kelly missed a combined 17 games last season, and you want to pay them 105 million bucks? Good luck with all that.
To the next poor guy who has to fight Anderson Silva. Even if you have body armor, a chain gun, or a light saber, good luck with all that.
To Bill Parcells for coming back and leading the Miami Dolphins from the front office. Trying to get the Fish back to the playoffs? (Scroll up to see QBs they’ve used since Marino.) Well at least their first round pick from last year, Ted Ginn, Jr., doesn’t suck. Will they take a return man with the #1 overall this year? Good luck with all that.
To Coco Crisp who thinks he’s battling for the starting centerfield job. It’s hard enough to find a way to start over someone who is better, Jacoby Ellsbury, but to go into spring training with a bum groin and a root canal? That’s brutal. Good luck with all that. (At least he’s got something to fall back on; make sure your sound is on.) http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=155900964
To the Sports Brief with Besse and Keefe for taking nearly 6 months off and then returning to action at the start of 2008. You think retooling with the addition of pictures and polls will make up for the fact that you walked out on all of your fans like Bobby Petrino? Good luck with all that.
Speaking of walking out on your fans, to all the sitcoms returning from the writers strike. Am I the only one who has lost interest in these shows? Good luck with all that.
To the Phoenix Suns trying to host a 1st round playoff series. The Suns are currently just as close to missing out on the postseason as they are to the top spot in the West, which they had at the time of the awful Shaq trade. With the Diesel in the lineup they are 4-5. ( Note: when I first wrote this it was prior to there win over the Spurs, they are now in fact 4-5, and I still feel very much the same way.) As soon as the trade happened I went on record and said they would fall out of the top 4, now they might just fall out of the playoffs all together. In the wide open West they were better off with the nucleus from last year’s team, (Nash, Amare, Marion), and if they really wanted to deal Marion get something in return. Top 4 spot in the conference may be a lost cause; they need to work on staying in the top 8. Good luck with all of that.
To Britney Spears… she’s 26 years old right now, if I set the over/under at 27.5 anyone taking the over? Good luck with all of that.