ArmchairGM Wiki

Article:Friday Fryer (April 11, 2008)

12,202pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0
A look at the sports week's biggest losers…
A public service by guest host Enybo on behalf of Christof

Welcome to the latest guest edition of the Friday Fryer, where we take a look at who was the sports world's biggest idiot(s) this week.

I volunteered to fill in this week after Alex added an international flavor last week. So this week I will be giving this one a little taste of Chicago. What does that mean exactly? Well, I’ll be serving it up in a deep dish with extra toppings. Yummy!

Chicago Bulls
Earlier this week, Tuesday to be exact, the Bulls were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs with a loss to the Miami Heat. I guess it’s only fitting that the league’s worst team should hammer down the final nail of the coffin that held any hope the Bulls had for playing in the post season. How ironic, it was the Bulls who swept the Heat in the first round of last year’s playoffs.

But this year was supposed to be different; they were supposed to contend for the Eastern Conference championship if not for the World Championship. Instead, this season turned into one embarrassment after another. From the firing of Scott Skiles on Christmas Eve to interim coach Jim Boylan allowing the players to suspend Joakim Noah for a game to all the losses and uninspired play from the individuals on the court. Granted, Boylan “coached” this team to a slightly better winning percentage (.385 to Skiles .36) but considering that for most of the year the Bulls were only two games out of playoffs and now sit at six. It is extremely disappointing that they won’t be participating at all.

So congrats to you Jim Boylan who most likely wont be back. John Paxon who has a lot of work to do this off-season. Kirk Hinrich, Ben Gordon, and Luol Deng who need to re-focus and play as a team instead of individuals fighting for a contract extension. And yes, even you Ben Wallace with declining skills, over-priced contract, and shoddy leadership abilities, congrats for just barely avoiding the Fryer.

Survivor Olympics
Is it me or does this year's torch relay resemble one big episode of the tv show Survivor? Everywhere it goes it seems to attract more haters and more people teaming up against it. Unfortunately this is no game, there is no million dollar prize at the end of the relay, only a severe human rights violations. The big wigs from the US are starting to put pressure on China. Hilary Clinton wants to boycott the opening day ceremony. G.W. is pleading with China to sit down and talk with the Dali Lama.

However, this is not the US leading the charge. Poland, Germany, and even France, yes France is actually taking a stand, have been very outspoken boycotting the ceremonies until China takes positive action regarding Tibet and Xinjiang. How did Beijing not see this coming? Better question, why did Beijing think they could hide these atrocities from the rest of the world? What is supposed to be a celebration of sports is quickly turning into a political poker game. My only question is, if you are going to boycott, why not go all out? Really make a point and boycott the entire Olympics? Is not attending the Opening Ceremony really going to make a difference? It seems kind of half-assed to me, but I guess only time will tell. Until then, the protests will continue like the ones in London and in France where the torch had to be extinguished twice for safety precautions. All we need now is Survior host Jeff Probst to ask Beijing to leave the island.

Brett Favre
He’s staying, he’s going, he’s leaving his options open. For Christof’s sake just make up your damn mind and leave it alone. On Thursday, he was asked under the hypothetical scenario that Aaron Rodgers went down with a serious injury, would Favre play again if the Green Bay Packers asked him to re-join the team? He responded, "And if that opportunity presented itself and they did call, it would be tempting. And I very well could be enticed to do it."

No no no!!! That’s not how it works. Brett, I understand you are new to this retirement thingy, but when you retire from a job, you don’t go back to it. That’s why they call it retirement and not sabbatical. Why must you always keep this open-ended? Yes, I get it you love the game and the Packers, but it just gets annoying. Retire and stay retired, end of question. What’s it going to take, a steroid scandal a la Roger Clemens? Please for the fans and the Chicago Bears, just stay retired.

Jose Canseco
Jose was recently in Chicago doing a book signing for his new “Vindicated” book. On second thought, maybe I should be frying up all the people that actually attended this book signing. Oh well, I’ll stick to Jose. I guess my question is, why do we care about him anymore? He is a paranoid man who is making money off slander, childish revenge, and his own criminal acts. He thinks the baseball “mafia” is out to get him. When he walked into his book signing, he threw away a cup of coffee sitting at his desk because no one knew who made it and demanded a fresh cup be made, not because he prefers fresh coffee but because he thinks “they” are trying to get him.

Ok, I get it, his first book did have some good come out of it. It helped put pressure on baseball to strengthen their drug testing, it helped lead to the Mitchell report which as we know (wink wink) has been a very strong resource and powerful tool to fight steroid use. But what’s the point of this book? I haven’t read it and I refuse to read it until someone gives me a good reason. As far as I can tell it is just the same as the first book with different names and more child accusations.

In this book he claims to have injected Magglio Ordonez with steroids. Great, we get it, baseball players used steroids. Old news Jose. He alleges A-Rod used because he connected him with a dealer. Just because a friend once introduced me to an auto mechanic doesn’t mean I let him fix my car. Seriously Jose, have a little proof and don’t add tidbits about A-Rod hitting on your wife to back up your story. It makes you sound less credible than you already are.

Last I checked, using steroids was a crime. Why do we continue to allow Canseco to make money off these books that tell of his criminal acts. He used steroids, he helped others use steroids, he helped distributors find new clients. Why is he not being prosecuted for any of these actions? But at the very least why can he make money off of them? Anyway, with all that said, Jose was right about one thing, “they” are out to get him. Bud Selig recently contacted me and asked me to fry up Jose. Mission accomplished.

And here are your extra toppings . .
Pean and The Memphis Tigers
First topping is Pean because he made a public challenge and lost and because we are now subjected to that awful avatar. Sorry Manny, but it is truly hideous. But that had to be your goal otherwise it wouldn’t be a punishment. Anyway, maybe next time Pean, you will learn not to bet against the Dev . . I am sorry, the Rays That’s two weeks in a row, can you make it three?

Second, the Memphis Tigers. Normally I would let college kids off the hook, but when you start getting cocky about your free throw shooting and then end your season on 1-5 from charity line, you deserve an honorable mention. Especially if one of the missed four would have secured a national championship.

Anyway, that’s all from the Windy City. I hope you all enjoyed this week’s version of the Fryer. If you didn’t don’t worry, it will be my last time doing it. But please be kind to me. And good luck to whomever chooses to take over next week.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki