It is appropriate that it is Wild Card Week because it has been a wild year for The FatMan. At one point, he was under 33% on picks against the spread and was down $500 on the Best Bets. He finished the regular season at 57% against all games vs. the spread, and up $730 on Best Bets after going 3-0 in Week 17. He even got a congratulatory call from Frank Reich for the amazing rebound!
So now that the playoffs are here, the FatMan is looking to continue the hot streak. I don't look for many surprises in the playoffs this first week. I think the real shockers might come in the Divisional matchups next week. Let's go to The Sheet!!
WILD CARD WEEK:
Jacksonville at Pittsburgh (+2) - The Steelers are a home dog and rightfully so. The Jags seem to have their number. I expect this game to be the hardest hitting, most agitated, defense oriented matchup of the playoffs. Najah Davenport is probably better suited to go against the Jags than Willie Parker, as he gives the Steelers a short yardage presence, but I think the Jags are just too tough. Fred Taylor is playing like a scorned back, and after his snub for the Pro Bowl, I don't blame him - leaving him off the team was criminal. Grab a bowl of popcorn, sit back and enjoy some Old Style Football in this one. JAGS 17-13.
Washington at Seattle (-3.5) - Despite having a jackass for an owner, the Media seems to want the Redskins to do well. Each year, they are anointed Preseason Champs, and then they usually come out and shit the bed. This year, they go down to the final week of the season to make the playoffs and people act as if they are destined to make the Super Bowl after beating a one-dimensional Viking team and a Cowboys team that didn't give a crap. They will find out just how hard it is to play in the Upper Northwest on Saturday and the Steve Czaban's of the world can go back to looking forward to August. SEAHAWKS 28-20.
Tennessee at San Diego (-9) - The only question in this one is if the Chargers cover. I think they do, and the pock-faced Norv Turner will get a chance to go up to Indy next week. I actually think they would matchup better against the Pats, but they will most likely get waxed by Peyton Manning. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Either way you look at it, an aging Kerry Collins or a hurt Vince Young isn't going to stroll into San Diego and shock the world. CHARGERS 35-10.
Giants at Tampa Bay (-3) - I actually heard Sean Salisbury say this week that the Giants were lucky the season didn't go an extra week or they'd be losing steam and out of the playoffs. The drunk analyst of ESPN must have blacked out after one too many Johnnie Walker Black's to watch the Saints or Vikings play. Is it really so hard for people to give the team credit?? First off the refs screwed the G-Men against the Pats, now you have analysts like Salisbury, Cris Carter and Shaun King saying that the Giants have little chance of winning this game. That is the best ESPN can find??? Clueless fuckers. GIANTS 28-17.
Straight Up: 14-2
Against Spread: 10-5-1
Best Bets: 3-0
Year to Date:
Straight Up: 173-83 (.676)
Against Spread: 139-104-13 (.572)
Best Bets: 29-20-2 (.592) (+$730)
There you have it - Up $730 beans for the year. This week, we are putting $200 each on the best bets. And to top things off, I'm giving you a couple random thoughts to ponder as the write-ups of the games get smaller:
-My wife asked me if I'd sleep more comfortably on a memory foam bed. When I said that I'd rather sleep like Rainier Wolfcastle on top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies, I failed to remember that she neither watches cartoons nor appreciates references to other women. Tip - Know your audience!!
- Whenever somebody says they are "hanging with my peeps", I get the mental picture of the person being surrounded by garishly colored marshmallow molds. Then I begin to gag violently.
- I wonder why more artists aren't Draw Poker champions??
- I wonder if a fish oil spill would be harmful to seals?
- 20 years from now imagine how fucked people are going to be if their GPS system crashes.
- What is fortified wine fortified with, a bad taste??
Serve cold. Serve Ice Cold.
And I'll leave you with that. Remember:
When you Want the Skinny on Picking, Turn to The FatMan
The FatMan is an armchairgm reporter. you can also check out his blog at http://fatmanstake.blogspot.com