We all know of those call in shows that every collegiate coach in America has…It’s an opportunity to give fans of that respective team time to shoot the shit with the ole ball coach, while allowing the institution to prosper ever more so by having local sponsors for the telecasts. Throughout these annual renditions it’s the same old shit, callers call in giving congrats for the victories and ready to hang the coach for all the loses.
Questions range from, "How about if we do this instead of this?" "And how come so and so isn’t playing?"
Okay, first off genius…This isn’t high school or pee wee leagues here! So if a particular player isn’t playing, that pretty much means he sucks balls! It’s plan and simple! Second of all, I’m sure every coach in America laughs their asses off when fans try to give them pointers! Look, there’s a reason why you sit in the LastRow of Sec. 077 and not strolling the sideline…Of course though, every coach in the country says the politically correct thing and responds, "we’ll surely take that into consideration.
These episodes are so vanilla…However, once in a while they tend to get spiced up a little. And what a better football coach to do the than Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. Besides being a wack offense progenitor - football coach. And not having the ability to schedule a non-conference opponent with a pulse, besides all that, Mike Leech, well, he appears to be a "First Date Expert". Lets check it out shall we… Yeah Dr. Phil, where you at punk! How awesome is that, a Big 12 football coach giving dating advice. And not just any old advice…S hockingly it was pretty good advice. Although one thing, the weirdos in the coffee shop, of course they’ll be…You live in Lubbock for God’s sake! Weirdos aren’t just relegated to them coffee shops down there…Never been there, but I’m guessing they’re all over! The question that I have is, just say "the caller" took the advice of Love Doctor Leach…Followed his gameplan to the "T", um what happens when he’s forced to call an audible? Does this dating tip come with some kind of "helpful hints wristband" where the advice is scripted out and all "the caller" has to do is look down at it and pick out a formation he likes and go with it? Because as we all know some establishments are louder than others, which does make hearing quite difficult at times! So the next time you’re in Lubbock, Texas, (which I don’t know why you would ever want to be) but if you are and you haven’t got the f-ing slightest idea what to do, just remember, Mike Leach…He’s only one phone call away! "A College Coach Celebrity Old Fart Death Match?" Who you got? Bobby Bowden or Joe Pa…Take time to stuff the LastRowSports.com Pick’em Poll ballot box! Besides it's good practice for the really shit in November...Although this for sure will be more rewarding!