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Article:Cannonballs: Match? What Match?

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It seems that those oh so humorous fellows over there on the Fox Soccer Report, which is seen on Fox Soccer Channel, tried to pull one over on me last night.  They claimed there was this match between my beloved Arsenal and their local arch-rivals sp*rs yesterday.  The highlights showed sp*rs playing some incisive stuff cutting the Gunners wide open.  Jermaine Jenas was seen slotting home a goal off the post and not tripping over the ball.  There was even this clip where Robbie Keane was sent through and placed the ball past the Arsenal keeper and not shooting it into row zed of the stands behind the goal.  Obviously this stuff was made up. 

What could be causing it?  I decided to take a walk outside and check the cable connection coming into the house.  Maybe some twisted sp*rs fan had hooked up some sort of weird mind control satellite device thingee which had my brain seeing things that should not be.  I ventured out into the cold cold weather and I checked and checked and checked and found nothing.  Okay, no mind control devices what else then?  I could think of nothing off the top of my head so I went back inside and waited for the second half of the show to see if those highlights did in fact exist.  What the heck they showed them again.  My stomach turned, I then quickly decided that perhaps my brain had been affected by maybe some undigested bit of beef maybe from this past evening's dinner.  Yeah that must be it, sp*rs playing elegant flowing incisive football was nothing more than a bad spot in the chile I had made for myself and Mrs Gunny for dinner.  Ah, I feel better now that I have found the culprit.

In other news that I think can be trusted as real; Avram Grant, manager of that arrogant bunch at Stamford Beach, has certainly not made any friends with the Everton faithful.  Grant has reportedly told the press that Everton are a club that are "not used to taking trophies".  Grant also stated that the Carling Cup is low on his priority list.  Even though chelski have a 2-1 advantage going into the second leg of the semi-final tonight given comments like that I shall at least harbor a small amount of support for the Toffees today and hopefully they can make the Final.  If not, a chelski-sp*rs final does not even bear contemplation, ech indeed.

On a happier note, the Sporting Director at Real Madrid, some fellow by the name of Predrag Mijatovic, has suggested that his club will no longer "waste time" in the pursuit of signing either Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas or Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo.  Both players have long term deals at their respective clubs.  Mijatovic also stated that Madrid will be more conservative in the upcoming summer transfer market.  Why is it that everytime an official from a big Spanish club speaks I shudder in disbelief?

Only thing left to say I suppose.......C'MON YOU TOFFEES!

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