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When processing which "athlete" to do for these installments, it is important to reach deep into your bag and review each of the options you have. Who is big right now? Who is in the news? Who makes you roll your eyes with their absolute and utter stupidity?
Today: Jose Canseco
Jose loves a good "mass-marketed" cooking machine.
This is something that baseball players around the country do, though.
He made a mistake in the Outfield when a ball bounced off his head over the fence for a Home Run.
We shouldn't make fun of him though, because a lot of athletes make mistakes.
His ex-wife was a body builder who liked to make her body the best she could.
Which this beautiful lady agrees with.
He used to have a great mustache.
Which 14-year old boys around the country idolized.
When on the field he is best know for his bat.
While this guy is best known for someone else's bat.
He tried to make a comeback in the Minors by becoming a pitcher.
Unfortunately, she threw better then he did.
His style is unimaginably trendy.
Trendy is this man's middle name.
He is very patriotic.
Which, I respect.
Look at those amazing muscles.
Those muscles led to these.
Canseco has made some mistakes in his personal life.
But who can say they don't have an interesting mug shot?
He and his brother got in some trouble with the law as well.
But, come on, who hasn't gotten into something bad with a sibling?
His book was filled with juicy gossip that "ratted" out his friends.
This guy "ratted" out his "friends" as well.
No closing...just remember Jose, there are a lot of guys you have wronged who own piano wire...