An Ode To Jeremy Shockey

By Jason July 21, 2008 5:36 pm

It’s been a while since I have written about football. It’s been even longer since I’ve written about the Giants. After all, they did win the super bowl and that left me me without a leg to stand on when insulting them

“Remember what happened on February 3rd?!?” Yes Anthony, I do.

And so I was left with an inability to insult the Giants. I filled the void in my life with baseball statistics and convincing myself that Mike Martz is the answer.

Just when I thought all hope was lost the Giants traded Jeremy Shockey. This trade proves several things, also known as “A List Of Stuff Anthony Was Wrong About.”

1) Clearly Shockey Was A Distraction.

This point is pretty self explanatory. Shockey basically forced his way out of NY by complaining about his role on the team. Anthony shrugged off every subtle sign of Shockeys lament to be in NY during their Super Bowl run.

-While Sam Madison, who was injured, was coaching the DB’s; Shock was double fisting beers in the pressbox.

-Shockey didn’t show up for the super bowl. I mean…

-Shockey didn’t show up for the victory parade

Shockey clearly was agitated that the team was succeeding without him. While Anthony tried so hard to play it off as “his frustration about not being able to be on the field.” Keep telling yourself that, Shockey only care about #80.

2) The Giants Feel They Are A Better Team Without Shockey

Antony will counter this point and talk about the value (2nd and 5th round picks) the Giants got for Shockey but will get to that in a minute.

On 4th Down, our weekly radio show, all off-season and all throughout the playoffs I made that case for the Giants being a better team without Shockey.

Are they a more talented team? Absolutely not. But unlike baseball, talent doesn’t always reign supreme.

The Giants seemed to come together as a team with Shockey out. It didn’t seem that anyone really missed his voice in the locker room, or the huddle. Eli Manning succeeded with out him, and in fact I attribute a good deal of his development to the lack of Shockey in his ear.

Are they a better run blocking team without Shcokey? No. But teaching a tight end to run block is one of the easiest skills to acquire. Shcokey and Vernon Davis, of the 49ers, were some of the worst run blockers when they entered they league. Now they are among the best.

Are they a better pass blocking team without Shockey? Yes, because Shockey rarely was required to pass block. Boss is a great pass blocker and when the Giants went to formations with the tight end blocking more it gave Eli more time in the pocket allowing him to find open receivers.

3) At The End Of The Day Shockey Was A Bust.

This argument once almost caused a 5 car pileup on Jericho Turnpike.

Now I think my argument is validated.

Shockey was drafted 14th overall (and if you remember correctly the Giants traded up to get him) and at age 27, Shockey should be in the prime of his career. While a 2nd and 5th round choice are good value for him at this point in his career, it also clearly shows that Shockey has not lived up to his billing.

He hasn’t been a major red-zone threat. He’s never come close to putting up a season like Tony Gonazalez, Antonio Gates or Kellen Winslow. And don’t give me any B.S. that “he wasn’t asked to do those things.” Because he was, and the fact that he emerged as a great blocker is fine and dandy but he was expected to be a down field threat at tight end and he hasn’t been. And to put the final nail in his coffin, the Giants won a super bowl without him.

As much as I hated him I realized something, I’ll miss Jeremy Shockey.

I’ll miss his outrageous quotes, his designer watches and the way he throws water on little children.

I’ll miss him secumbing to turf toe every year.

I’ll miss watching him drop routine passes, while looking at Eli Manning with disgust.

I’ll miss his helmet being one size to small to allow for extra face time.

I’ll miss him spiking the ball after every three yard reception (actually wait, he stopped that when the NFL implemented the “jeremy Shockey” rule.)

But most importantly I think Shockey will miss NY. He’ll miss the tabloids and the media exposure. He’ll miss the radio appearances and the magazine covers.

He’ll miss playing in the biggest market in the world.

After all unlike Eli Manning, Jeremy Shockey isn’t unstoppable.

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