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I was actually done with these, but its a slow news day and all these Super Bowl articles makes me want to yell at deaf people...so anyway for those that actually like these Enjoy...
NotmyfaultblamePat: Hey man, how's your knee, ankle, back, neck, wrist, and nose feeling
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq's fine, Shaq don't know pain, Shaq will be back when Shaq find a doctor to clear him
NotmyfaultblamePat: Don't rush back, you gotta take time to heal
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq is indestructable, Shaq is fine
NotmyfaultblamePat: Well maybe you should sit out this season, and the one after that and the one after that...
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq don't retire, Shaq reload, Shaq rejuvenate, why don't you retire you got more rings than Karl Malone, you'll go to the Hall of Fame
NotmyfaultblamePat: But the team is trying to go with a youth movement
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq values a contract, Shaq will keep playing until contract is up and will accept another contract for triple the money
NotmyfaultblamePat: Triple? Who would pay that
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Isiah Thomas
NotmyfaultblamePat: Well he might not be around that long...I mean seriously you should consider calling it a career
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq won't give up, Shaq gave up on Shaunna and she took Shaq's bathtub Dwyane Wade she took Shaq's $10 million bathtub, why does she need a 40 foot bathtub
NotmyfaultblamePat: Why do you need it
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq likes to bathe and work on his backstroke
NotmyfaultblamePat: Yeah divorces are tough man but it'll be okay, you don't see Michael Jordan coming back
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: But Jordan still got his shoe deal, what about Shaq's shoe, its in Payless man
NotmyfaultblamePat: How you think I feel, Converse told me they had plenty other players, they tricked me, Carmelo is on Jordan, Lebron is on Nike and I got Converse, not even Reebok, or even Puma
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Stop crying we talking about Shaq here
NotmyfaultblamePat: But Pat has a plan, I'm going to get injured next week and then he's going to start meeting with Tyler Hansborough
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Tyler Hansborough isn't Shaq, there ain't no Shaq in the draft only Shaq is me, I'm Shaq you need to draft Shaquille O'Neal
NotmyfaultblamePat: But you're on the team already, why would we draft you....
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Because I'm the best player available...
NotmyfaultblamePat: Ummm...ooook..what about being Sheriff don't you want to be Sheriff anymore
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: No, Sheriffs have happy families, Shaq don't, Shaq dont even have anything, because Shaunna is a whore
NotmyfaultblamePat: She cheated on you?
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: No, she had sex with Shaq and took Shaq's money, thats a whore, she didn't win 6 championships why she get Shaq's money
NotmyfaultblamePat: You only won 4 man
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: No, Houston and Detroit cheated, Shaq don't lose championships
NotmyfaultblamePat: Well tell me you'll at least consider retiring
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq don't quit, Pat Riley quit, Penny quit, Shaq won't quit on you
NotmyfaultblamePat: Penny got cut man
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: No, Pat Riley told Shaq that Penny was going to take care of his grandmother in Alaska so he re-retired and I shouldnt call him because Alaska don't allow calls from Miami
NotmyfaultblamePat: And you believed that????
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Pat Riley is a dead man, Don't lie to Shaq, when Shaq's Sheriff he's gonna lock up Pat Riley throw away the key
NotmyfaultblamePat: I thought you said you didn't wanna be sheriff
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Shaq will be sheriff don't you try to stop me
NotmyfaultblamePat: Well I gotta go to Charles house, help clean his gutter
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Charles Barkley don't like you, Dwyane Wade, Charles Barkley thought LeBron James was going to be in the commercial you never going to be in his 5
NotmyfaultblamePat: Oh he just says things like that
SuperDuperTrooperShaq32: Whatever you say, Shaq will talk to you later Dwyane Wade