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The other day when I wrote about Jay Cutler I had a lot of fun. I think it was quite enjoyable calling him out on his little attitude problem and then started a little wishful thinking about him going to Detroit, but that would give him the starting job right away and I started thinking about the guys who would have to be holding a clipboard behind him, then I started thinking about guys who are going to be on an NFL team for 10 plus years and who are maybe going to only get about 10 starts.
But then looking at it, I decided that predicting who would spend ten years doing that is going to be kind of hard, there are some guys who you know are going to do it; Kevin Kolb, Troy Smith (who needs to be starting somewhere) and Charlie Frye. Those guys are lifetime bench players.
Then Kurt Warner resigned with the Cardinals effectively icing the starting spot in the desert until the end of the 2010 and I was thinking poor Brian St. Pierre.
So without further ado, I present to you the 2009 All Clipboard Team!
11. Troy Smith - Baltimore Ravens Smith was pegged as the starter last season while they “seasoned” Joe Flacco, but Smith got sick and couldn’t go through preseason or the regular season, so Flacco got the nod and unfortunately for Smith, there is no way that he is ever going to get that spot back.
To me this is almost a tragic story, but I hope someday someone will take a chance on Smith; he’s not that bad of a quarterback.
10. Alex Smith - San Francisco 49ers This Smith blew his chance in San Francisco or did he? They never gave him the weapons or the offensive line to succeed, it always seemed that the 49ers did everything they could to bolster their defense and totally disregarded their offense.
But that is really no excuse here for Smith who made some of the dumbest throws I have ever seen. Plus I really like him anchoring the clipboard in San Fran, while my boy from the U of Maryland, Shaun Hill, is out there winning ball games.
9. Jon Kitna - Dallas Cowboys I love this trade, love it, love it love it! I know you are saying, why do you love it so much, this could help the Cowboys beat the Eagles during the regular season if Romo goes down, Kitna is a competent quarterback!?
Well quit yelling at me and let me explain. Kitna is a Jesus loving head case going to the Dallas Cowboys probably the most Godless team in the NFL, especially if they find ways to get Michael Vick and get Rae Carruth out of jail.
Kitna is a huge upgrade as a QB on the field as a backup, but he doesn’t hold anything back from the media, I can just see the interviews with him and Ed Werder next year. It’s going to be amazing.
8. Chris Redman - Atlanta Falcons Matty Ice owns the starting spot in Atlanta until he decides he doesn’t want it anymore and Chris Redman after selling some insurance for a couple years is going to be really happy that is holding a clipboard rather than holding a folder and wondering if he could sell anything in this economy.
Plus he can fill in for a game or two, offense won’t be the same because he doesn’t have the deep ball that Ryan does, but he can get the job done on a small basis.
7. Seneca Wallace - Seattle Seahawks He keeps getting the chances to prove himself and take the starting job away from Matt Hasselbeck, but he never fully plays to what he could. People in Seattle love him and there is a big movement to let him start, but he will never get the reigns full time for this team no matter how the fans cry for it in Seattle and believe me, Seahawk fans do a lot of crying and about everything too.
6. Tyler Palko - New Orleans Saints Sure he’s the #3 behind Brees and Brunell, but Brunell is now entering his 87th full season in the NFL and his worth is slowly fading, plus how many people outside of New Orleans knew that Palko was a Saint?
I wish there was a bet line in Vegas on how many actual snaps in real games that count will Tyler Palko take? I’d set the over/under at 4 and I’d take the under.
5. John David Booty - Minnesota Vikings Like Palko this man will see less than four snaps in his entire career and he is sitting behind Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels! He was decent at USC, but he’s never going to see the light of day, I really hope he enjoys that clipboard, he’s going to be holding that thing forever. Maybe we should all get together and buy him some clipboard holding gloves.
4. Tyler Thigpen - Kansas City Chiefs He had a semi decent year on a team that gave him no weapons and no defense. Now that Matt Cassel is around there is no shot at getting any playing time any time soon in the land of BBQ.
But then again, they could run into the same thing they had last year of no receivers, no line, no running back and no defense.
Maybe he’ll get some blow out 4th quarter snaps.
3. Kevin Kolb - Philadelphia Eagles This man is a preseason quarterback; he could tear up second and third stringers like they were shirts from Walmart. When it comes to actual games though, he’s not that good and may need to sit a few more years behind Donovan McNabb and hold that clipboard a few more years. His college system was a run and shoot and in Philadelphia he has to run a complicated west coast offense.
I don’t know if he’ll ever get it, but he better be spending a lot of time this off season with his nose in the playbook, who knows what is going to happen with Donovan McNabb.
2. Chad Henne - Miami Dolphins He’s a successful Michigan guy could he be the next Tom Brady or is he more than likely the next Elvis Grbac? For the time being he’s going to be locked down in Miami, taking in some sun, drinking some sangria and holding a clipboard.
He really should stop wearing a jersey to the games and get a reflector on the clipboard to help work on that tan.
1. Matt Leinart - Arizona Cardinals Kurt Warner is back, Brian St. Pierre is going to be challenging him for the #2 spot on the roster and yet you know what this man is probably doing as you read this?
I’m going to guess he’s in a hot tub with some coeds from Arizona State University, probably doing a beer bong while he is in there too.
He’s the most expensive clipboard holder currently in the NFL and probably the most immature. Is it sad that if I had to draft a backup QB from the current pool, Leinart’s name wouldn’t even come across my mind and if I had to chose ten, I’d take Dennis Dixon ten spots ahead of Leinart.