San Diego - Alex Spanos, owner of the San Diego Chargers, today unexpectedly fired quarterback Phillip Rivers after his disappointing playoff performance against the Patriots' last weekend, and then abruptly announced the signing of comedienne Joan Rivers to a three-year deal reportedly worth $8 million a season.
The move shocked many longtime NFL observers. “Has she ever played the quarterback position?” asked Hall of Famer Dan Marino. “I can’t myself remember seeing her play.” In a packed press conference a high-spirited Spanos initially defended his choice with a series of one liners, which included: "She's one tough broad, that Joanie. She might not even need a helmet.” After the laughter subsided, Spanos added, “Plus, Melissa is damned hot, if you ask me.”
When Rivers was questioned on her experience in the NFL, the comedienne laughed, “It's the CHARGERS, you putz. AMEX, VISA, MASTERCARD, I've rung up bills with the best of em! “With my experience, I guarantee the Chargers will ring up the competition.”