Sharapova Calls Injury Timeout to Ice Flagging Nipples
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by Jocktrotter
from www.phillyjock.com
Play at the 2007 Women’s U.S. Open was delayed over twenty minutes last week when tennis star/sex symbol Maria Sharapova called an injury timeout to ice her flagging nipples.
A hunched-over, elderly male line judge reported that the blonde-haired vixen fled to the locker room after catching sight of herself on a television monitor and noticing that her normally perky nipples had flat-lined.
“I have a responsibility to my fans to be out there in peak physical condition,” Sharapova said, hinting that the injury may have had something to do with her upset loss. “After all, is this event not watched by millions of males around the world? Am I not out there fighting to fulfill my dreams, as well as theirs? It’s not like I play in the WNBA or something. It's a lot of pressure. ”
Critics of women’s tennis charged that this was the second incident in as many days at the U.S. Open. The opening round was delayed over an hour while Amelie Mauresmo searched frantically for duct tape before abruptly dropping out in front of 10,000 horrified spectators.
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