ASU/UM or Stanford/USC…Bigger Upset?
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by LastRow
Just when you think you see everything that you possibly can, you’re floored again. Reminds me of some more strip club tales. Whether you’re into the booty or the bust, just when you think your Bambi’s the only pole hugger that can make your blood bubble like lava…Deciding for some reason you feel like paying all her bills on this given evening, low and behold a shooting "Star" shows up! However guess what? You wish you had more loot because Bambi just ran back into the woods with Thumper…Oh yeah, leaving you a dry wallet! No wishes upon a "Star" on this night! Love them hoes…I mean, pole huggers!
Isn’t it interesting how college football can be so much like a strip club, (well, at least for this year anyway). Why on the first weekend of college football we witness "The Greatest Upset in College Football Ever", well, we were brain washed into thinking that when Appy. State did an all time jam job to Michigan in the Big House. Appy. State gear was flying out of stores fastest than Britney Spears’s panty raids! This Division I "don’t call me double A because somehow, someway it’s a sign of disrespect" school shocked the world…Although, surprisingly enough they were only 23 point dogs. Hell, that’s nothing…Why they had better odds than a poodle attending a Bad Newz Kennel dog show!
Remember how for the first two weeks nobody could turn on a college football show without seeing the blocked field goal…Lou Holtz joked that ESPN was "going to keep showing it until Michigan made it!" Well, I guess they got the memo, Michigan doesn’t have Super Jock…Because if they did, well, little man would’ve made it. Well, yes, believe it or not, Appalachian State ' is "Bambi"…And the college football world got introduced to "Star" this past weekend. Surprisingly enough in Los Angeles. While "Bambi" caused us to take a triple take…What did "Star", real name, Stanford cause us to do this past weekend? Get whip lash? If Appy. State’s win over Michigan was "The Greatest Upset in College Football Ever", um, do we have a name for what Stanford did on Saturday night, yet? Peeps swore on their Grandmothers grave that college football would never see something ever again like what ASU did to Michigan…Well, at least we know one thing. A whole bunch of angry grandmothers are rolling over in their graves and soon will be participating in a remix version of Michael Jackson’s "Thriller". Awesome! Happy Halloween!
Why Stanford was only 41 point dogs to SC…No biggie! Why Stanford is only the doormat of the Pac-10, (humor me, discount Arizona). Why Stanford only has Jim Harbaugh as head coach…The same Jim Harbaugh who repetitively needed a shoe horn to get his foot out of his cake hole during the off-season! Giving Pete Carroll more bulletin board material than Matthew Berry gives fantasy advice! Giving a quarterback his first start due to the fact that the damn starter suffered a seizure leading up to the game…Not to mention the game was in Los Angeles.
I mean, in both instances, well it’s hard to pick which is the bigger upsets…Just like that adage question, "Blondes or Brunettes?" "Are you an ass guy or a "top heavy" guy? I know, it’s so tough to determine…Like a kid in a candy store!
In my opinion, no disrespect to "Bambi", I mean Appalachian State, but "Star", oops, I did it again, Stanford got it going on more so! Look, Appy State came into the Big House as defending National Champions, no matter what classification they’re in…I give a shit in they’re in the "I can blow a bigger flame than you while lighting this match with my as"! They had the entire summer to get ready and prepare for Michigan. Stanford only had a week with a quarterback that had never started! And, if you’re one of those betting person(s), (and like to throw money away like that instead of paying "Bambi’s" monthly bills) the spread differential on these two games was 18 points…Whatever that means?
What it means is USC should’ve fallen further in the polls than to number 10! Michigan dropped like a hot rock…And it’s worth arguing that Appy. State might be more of a worthy loss then losing to Stanford. Although ASU’s loss to Towson might raise some red flags about that! However, you lose to a team which in all intensive purposes you’re favored by six touchdowns and you only drop to number ten…What’s up with that shit? Still having an outside chance at a National Championship. Not like that chance is slim and none or anything, but still it exists! But hey, if Kevin Federline is awarded custody of his kids…Anything’s possible!
Unfortunately after being favored by 41 at home and thus giving us what I see in my mind as "The Greatest Upset in College Football Ever", no matter what kind of shot it is…It’s still a shot! But should there still be a shot? Well, go ask Michigan that…Pollsters had their shot at the National Championship over before ever losing to Oregon! And that was the first week in September…Not October!
Lesson learned here…And there’s a very important one! Don’t pay Bambi’s monthly bills until Star shows up! Nothing worse then being caught with your pants down, (both literally and physically speaking)…However, being "Vaginas R' Us" can’t be all that bad, can it?
