You Just Might Be A Sports Redneck If
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by user Christof
Parody and imitation are ways that one shows admiration for something. Since April Fool's day is this weekend, I figure it was time for some sports humor to once again make an appearance on ArmchairGM.com. So without further ado, I have come up with the following list....
You just might be a sports redneck if
- You think the Wet T-Shirt Contest should be added to the Summer Olympics.
- You hear a car backfire or a firecracker and immediately think that hunting season has started.
- You have been banned from attending Little League Tee-ball games because of continuous arguing over balls and strikes with the umpire.
- You own a beer helmet.
- You place racing decals and colors on your lawnmower.
- You are a grown man who wears a sports jersey with another man's name on its back.
- You ask to kiss Suzy Kolber, live on national TV.
- You think “pole dancing” is a gymnastic event.
- You use a headset and radio to talk to the guy sitting next to you on the couch or at the stadium.
- You put the initials of your favorite team or player on your belt buckle.
- You are a fan of pro-wrestling.
- You believe that the show ‘Bass Masters’ is worthy of an Emmy.
- You have memorized every line from the movie “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”
- You cut your lawn and discover a late-model NASCAR car rusting away.
- You play paintball!
- You have attended or participated in a food-eating contest.
- You have played beer pong.
- You have been banned from a miniature golf course because of "disorderly conduct."
- You met your first wife in the garage area of a race track.
- You use to sit in the 700 Level at the old Veteran Stadium for Philadelphia Eagles games.
- You know the date for opening day by heart, yet you are clueless as to your wedding anniversary and your kids' birthdays.
- You watch poker played on television.
- You make a living as a professional poker player.
- You have attended a tractor-pull competition.
- You own a custom-made bowling bowl with your initials engraved in it.
- You are a daily caller at the local sportstalk radio station.
- You are a sportstalk radio host.
- Your favorite team just lost their biggest game of the year, yet you are feeling fine because you just saved a ton of money on your car insurance!
- You have attended and/or participated in a rodeo!
- You’re that guy who dresses up as the devil every year at the Tour de France.
- You memorized the words from “The Hockey Song”.
- You named your kids, Richard “The King”, Dale, and Dale Jr.
- You spent a beautiful afternoon in the spring writing this list instead of going outside and playing in the sun.
- You laughed at anything on this list.
- You added something to this list! (You know you want to!)
