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ortiz: damn that's great shave what do you use? Rodriguez: i know right, you should feel it... i just switched to the Mac 100 turbo, it's the latest shit man 100 BLADES!

Great idea SSreporters. Way to come up with something new...

Russ "Fat Ass" Ortiz: "I'm so hungry I'm going to eat my glove" Catcher: "I just ate mine" (wipes mouth)

Ortiz: Ese, I think someone called you Pierzynski over there in the stands. Rodriguez: I didn't know San Franciscians knew what "pendejo" was. Oh well... let's think of a plan of what we can do to that fool after the game.

"Dude, smell my glove!" "Dude, taste my hand!"

"I don't want to hide behind this glove any longer!"

"But our love is a forbidden one. I can't risk losing you"

"Take me right here on the mound."

"Let me think about it."

"Dude, we suck."

Without a word being said the catcher nonchalantly rubs his mouth trying to subltly tell Ortiz that he has a baseball mit on his lip.

*Molina: I ain't feelin' so good, bro. Gotta puke or something, man. Groove one so I can get out of here.

• Ortiz: What I tell you about eating Manny Stiles Salsa. Shit will kill you.

Ortiz: Hey es Kelsko todavía que está parado allíRodriguez:

Rodriguez: Eh, no pienso que él va a moverse, él está jugando la primera base sirve hoy. Ortiz: Lo odio cuando él juega la primera base que él mira siempre mi asno.

Rodriguez: C'mon, deja apenas para conseguir este juego encima con así que podemos tomar algunas putas baratas.

Ortiz: Can't believe the Giants signed me after having a 5-19 record the last two seasons.

Ortiz: I heard they have a new conversation game on Armchairgm. Do you think MetsJetsDevils will do any better than he did at the Caption Contest?

Rodriguez: I don't know man, they aready gave him a negative 2.

Rodriguez: Is she looking at me now?

Ortiz: No . Rodriguez: How about now, is she looking over here now?

Ortiz: No.

Rodriguez: What about now is she looking now?

Ortiz: No she's not looking at you dude, will you quit asking me if she's looking at you. She hasn't looked at you. Wait, she just looked.

Rodriguez: See what I'm saying man. Ya understand?

Candlesticks make a nice gift

"Yo, you think the babe sitting in the front row is legal?"

"Gay" "yep, Gay"

Wow this is a successful Caption Contest. Usually these suck... Pluses for all the funny ones...

Ortiz: Man, my arm is killing me, dude. Think I'll go get Tommy John, sit out six months, hire Scott Boras, and get 70 million from the Red Sox, what'ya think? Rodriguez: Don't forget who your friends are, homes.

Rodriguez: Ok Russ, we are actually winning. And, since Bochy is too stupid to take you out himself, I came to pull you. Maybe, for once, we can hold onto a lead.

"Yeah, there's a little more, right in the corners."

"Did I get it?"

"Yeah, there you go."

"Dang Spaghetti-Os"

Ortiz: "So whaddya think, fastball, outer edge of the plate?" Rodriguez: "Si, let's give him a fastball ... on a steek."

Dude, 8 trips to the buffett is a little extreme don't you think?

Rodriguez: Did you talk to Mitchell this afternoon?

Ortiz: Si.

Rodriguez: Yeah me too. I buried that SOB. What about you?

Ortiz: Si.

Ortiz: "See? Told you taking away all of Jose Offerman's bats was a good idea." Rodriguez: "Still hurt ... say, do you see that talking jalapeno on a stick behind the dugout?"