Woody Austin needs to shut up
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by Hogpage
BUT I'M BETTER THAN HIM What the hell was Woody Austin thinking? Woody Austin just needs to shut the hell up. If you missed the PGA Championship this weekend, or missed yesterday's final round, 43-year old Woody Austin entered Sunday's final round 3-under, four strokes behind the leader, Tiger Woods. And to credit Woody, he played an incredible round of golf yesterday, shooting a final-round 67, finishing 6-under par for the tournament. Two strokes behind Tiger and a second place finish. But listening to his press conference made me want to throw the aged golfer under a bus. Take a look at these quotes which were shown on Sunday night's Sportscenter.
[1] *all these quotes are actual quotes*
> "As you always say, are you intimidated by him [Tiger]? I don't get that either. What, are we going to fight? Are we going to get into a fight? Why should I be intimidated?
No, Woody, you're not going to get into a fucking fight. You should be intimidated by him because you haven't done shit in your lousy career, and he's got 13 majors. More money than you. And a hotter wife.
> "We can go through our rounds, I out-played him [Tiger] on Friday. But he beat me by seven shots....[long pause].....soooo....does that mean he's that much bet...I don't get it. It just happens that he scored better. And like I said on Friday, you cannot throw away that many opportunities when you are trying to win a big golf tournament. He took advantage, I didn't. Does that mean he played better than me? Does that mean he's better than me? I don't agree with that."
You don't agree with that. Lets take a look at this line by line. We can go through our rounds, I out-played him [Tiger] on Friday. But he beat me by seven shots....[long pause].....soooo....does that mean he's that much bet...I don't get it Yes, Woody, he's that much better you. You got beat by seven shots on Friday. Yea, I'd say he beat the shit out of you. Give it up. There's no "ifs", "ands", or "buts" about it. The funny part about this quote is Woody realized how stupid that sounded and he even had trouble saying, "Does that mean he's that much better than me." Because, again, yes Woody, that's exactly what it fucking means. [2] It just happens that he scored better It just happens that he scored better? It's not like this is the first time Tiger has won a tournament. He's been there many times before. It wasn't luck. And more importantly, how the hell is that an excuse? He scored better? OK, great, well, yea, he's much better than you. Score better next time. Idiot.
He took advantage, I didn't. Does that mean he played better than me? Does that mean he's better than me? I don't agree with that. Great players take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. Bad players don't. That's what fucking separates the two, and ultimately separates you from Tiger, Woody. And the answer to your questions? Does that mean he played better than me? Yes, that's what it means. He took advantage. You didn't. He played better. Does that mean he's better than me? Yes, technically it does, but since you're having trouble grasping the idea of "better", I'll help you. You only have three fucking PGA tour wins. THREE! Tiger shits three PGA tour wins out his ass every morning before heading to the driving range for more practice. How can you even put yourself in the same sentence as Tiger? Let alone the same talent level? Let me put it to you like this. Tiger has 27 times more professional wins than you do. Alright jackass, Tiger has 81 professional wins to your three. If you multiplied your total professional wins by the No. 4, it wouldn't equal Tiger's total major championships. Your best finish in a major, before this weekend, was tied for 23rd at the 1996 US Open. Two of your three miserable wins were sponsored by Buick and the other was the Standford St. Jude Championship. Not your all-star lineup.
Tiger has been the face of golf for nearly a decade, and he is, by far, the best golfer in the world. Not to mention, it's almost inevitable, Tiger Woods will someday be the best golfer to ever live.
So, Woody, do you really think you are just as good as Tiger? Do ya, Woody?
Because I sure as hell don't.
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