What is Wrong With Michael Irvin?
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: This is where the party ends. I can’t stand here listening to you and your racist friend.
Public Service Announcement:
OK, here we go! Goodness gracious me oh my-oh. I may be a day late and a dollar short on this one, but who cares? I may be delving into scary territory here, but so what? It’s always risky for a white dude to bring up the race card when it pertains to a black dude, but I don’t care. This nonsense was just wrong. Jimmy the Greek wrong. Not for nothing, isn’t that name politically incorrect in and of itself? The Right Reverend Reggie White wrong. Al Campanis wrong. Mel Gibson wrong. Jesse Jackson wrong. What? Think we forgot the hymietown comments? Michael Richards wrong. Ricky Manning Jr. wrong. John Rocker wrong. Bob Ryan wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
In case you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, you can listen here. If you’re at work or don’t feel like listening, let me break it down for you. Michael Irvin on the Dan Patrick radio show talking about the Cowboys win over the then undefeated Colts. Michael says Tony Romo outplayed your boy Peyton Manning. No problems there. He did. The Playmaker then says Tony Romo “doesn’t look like that type of athlete.” Uh oh. What type of athlete, Mike? Danger Will Robinson, danger! Wait for it, wait for it, boom goes the dynamite! “There must be some brothers in that line somewhere…somewhere there are some brothers…I don’t know who saw what, where…maybe his great, great, great, great Grandma ran over in the hood or something went down.” What the hell does that mean? Dan Patrick wanted to know the same thing. He asked Michael, “That’s the only way to be a great athlete?” You think this would be the part of the story where Irvin regains composure and talks some sense. Nothing doing. “No, that’s not the only way…but it’s certainly one way…maybe his great, great, great, great Grandma pulled one of them studs up outta the barn and said ‘come here for a second’…back in the day.” Yikes.
You can’t say that anymore. If you say that, you better check yourself into rehab just to save some face. And not for nothing again, but Mike sure sounded baked during the whole interview. Giggling like a schoolgirl throughout. Where’s Tom Jackson calling Mike a retard when you need him. Oooh, can I say that? Goodness. Didn’t Rush get shitcanned for talking that baloney. Isn’t Borat on the ropes for perceived racism? Aren’t Danish cartoonists everywhere hiding for their lives? To be honest, I think it’s kind of funny. What’s funnier is I never heard about it until today. I heard about Mel Gibson and Michael Richards about 8 seconds after their incidents occurred. Where’s the outcry? Believe me, I’m no political correctness policeman, but c’mon, nothing about this anywhere?
To Michael’s defense, he did apologize: “I do want to apologize for those comments. They were inappropriate and insensitive. My whole thing, what I always try to do, is give people a first-hand knowledge of what it’s like in the locker room and how we as players joke around with one another. This is how I joke around with Romo when we’re playing basketball … certainly, there’s a difference from me the player and me the broadcaster. We may joke around like that in the locker room, and I’m trying to bring them in the locker room.” I don’t know what any of that means. I do know Aaron Frickin Boone tore up his knee playing basketball. The Tuna can be none to happy. Neither can ESPN, the World Wide Leaders.
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even! josh q. public
