What A Shock

by user LastRow

New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey sustained a mild concussion after getting knocked the F*** out in a collision with safety Will Demps on Monday evening. You talk about your karma…This came 24 hours after Mr. Motorlips was heard calling out Tom Coughlin. "He can be an ass sometimes,” Shockey uttered. Now all of us feel this same way about our boss, just a damn shame all of us can’t pull this card in the “Real World” at work without paying a serious consequence. So if Tom Coughlin’s an ass, I wonder what that makes Jeremy. Here’s a news flash Big J, you’re not the first person that doesn’t get along with your boss either, pal.

If this was any other guy on the Giants this might hold some value to it, but since it’s Shockey flapping his gums again it’s more like an annual comical exhibition…Sort of along the lines of Bode Miller kind of funny. Hey Big Shock, your coach thinks you’re a big joke too…"I don't know, my wife has called me that a few times," Coughlin said. "I don't really think he was trying to disrespect me. As I said, I've been called worse.” Turns out this was only the beginning to some bizarre events for J-Man.

Before Will Demps coldcocked thus giving him the mild concussion compliments of Coach Coughlin, number 80 could be seen trudging around the field, cursing and complaining (good to see Danica Patrick has bypassed a career in NASCAR to one as a tight end for the New York Giants) when Eli Manning failed to locate him on a deep pattern. Shockey screamed, "Throw me the [bleeping] ball!" and when he got back to the sideline he angrily flung his helmet to the ground, the first of two helmet-tosses by Shockey. Who knew Keyshawn Johnson was back in New York? I bet Danica would’ve been so proud of you trying to mimic her temper performance with one of your own. Did you squash that bug that she was trying for too. I just hope after you flung your helmet all over you went and picked it back up…Giving it the real Danica affect? Just please tell me you flung it further than she did, because it you didn’t that would be sort of embarrassing

Actually, you two have more in common than hat people might think. I’m trying to recall what have you done in you NFL career…Probably the same as what she’s accomplished in the IRL. NOTHING! At least when T.O.’s on the field he’s one of the best out there. Although I forgot, Coach Coughlin’s offense doesn’t play to your strengths & attributes, right? Thus the reason for going unnoticed like you should be. So what is the right way to use JS? That’s very amusing! "Everyone puts me under a microscope. It's unfortunate, but it's how [the media] is. I can't control it." Now, Now, JS, turn that frown upside down…We all love you. Why, if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be writing this very entertaining piece about you and how big of a jackass you really are. I’m truly grateful to you for giving me material to use in my Scuttlebutt, along with my five or so readers. However, first you may want to stop throwing temper tantrums, stop calling people assholes, and stop living the life of Bode Miller.

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Date

Tue 08/01/06, 6:38 pm EST