Week Four Or Who Needs To Atone For Their Sins
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by user Thefeed
In honor of Yom Kippur, this week's look at what went down on Sunday will focus on who needs to do some atoning before sundown tonight.
Atlanta Falcons 32, Arizona Cardinals 10 - Kurt Warner needs to beg forgiveness and Dennis Green should be davening right behind him after the debacle in Atlanta. Warner was picked once and fumbled twice in what Cardinal fans should hope is his last start for their team, while Green bears some of the blame as well for his reluctance to make the obvious move to Matt Leinart before this week's game. It's Leinart for the future, so perhaps that is Green's penance. But, the Cardinals are circling the drain of yet another season and for that, Warner is the prime transgressor.
Buffalo Bills 17, Minnesota Vikings 12 - Probably the biggest sinner here is the NFL for scheduling such a schnauzer of a game. We'll go instead with Fred Smoot, who missed a tackle on Peerless Price's third quarter touchdown catch and run. It wasn't that memorable a flub, but given the year that Smoot has had, it's not like he's got some explaining to do to the man upstairs anyway.
Dallas Cowboys 45, Tennessee Titans 14 - This one goes to Albert Haynesworth, the Titan defensive tackle who ripped off Cowboy center Andre Gurode's helmet and then stomped on his head for no reason during Sunday's game. It didn't have much to do with the way the game played out - Vince Young was overmatched in his first start and the Cowboys ran all over the Titans even before Haynesworth's ejection - but was a disgraceful moment nonetheless.
Kansas City Chiefs 41, San Francisco 49ers 0 - The entire San Francisco 49er organization is in need of atonement here for letting a franchise fall to pieces the way they have by the bay. The Dennis Erickson era was laughable and the Mike Nolan era is off to an awful start, which doesn't say much for their coach hiring policies. Alex Smith takes one step forward and three steps back and they wasted a top five pick on a tight end this season, showing their personnel decisions aren't good enough, and they are on their way to a fourth straight losing season after making the playoffs in 2001 and 2002. I understand the rebuilding process, but a 41-0 loss to Damon Huard? Puhleeze.
Carolina Panthers 21, New Orleans Saints 18 - Reggie Bush! Let's slam the rook four games into his career and after his team's first loss! He ran for just 22 yards and fumbled in a big divisional test. Why didn't they take Vince Young?????? Nah, although the Saints rushing game didn't show up for work on Saturday, we'll give them a pass because the Panther D can play with anyone and George Bush doesn't care about black people.
Baltimore Ravens 16, San Diego Chargers 13 - Bill James in his epic Historical Baseball Abstract does an interesting thing with some players who fell short of Hall of Fame level play for their careers. By shifting around some seasons or extrapolating them into different eras or home parks, he shows just how close some players could have been if circumstances were a little different. I'd love to see someone do that with coaches and just imagine how many Super Bowls Bill Parcells, Bill Belichick or Bill Walsh (to name three Bills who never coached the Bills...weird) would have won if they had Marty Schottenheimer's teams. 6? 7? Even more? As always, Marty, must beg forgiveness from on high for wasting a talented team.
Houston Texans 17, Miami Dolphins 15 - The second player in the Viking sex boat scandal to be sentenced to atonement this Yom Kippur day is, of course, Daunte Culpepper. Perhaps it should be the overheated writers, pundits and television analysts atoning for deciding that preseason meant something and anointing Culpepper as Super Bowl MVP over the summer. Either way, where have you gone Joey Harrington, South Florida turns its lonely eyes to you. Koo Koo Ka Choo.
St. Louis Rams 41, Detroit Lions 34 - This one is actually a toughie. Matt Millen is the obvious choice, but really - can anyone forgive him at this point? Aren't we a little too far gone, it's pretty much deathbed confession time for Millen and while that's always a good angle to try when you're as deep in the hole as he is, it doesn't do much for us as 5767 gets underway. Is it Jon Kitna, with two interceptions and sustained poor play in the season's first month? Nope, he's played poorly but he was always Jon Kitna and shouldn't have to apologize for that. Is it Mike Martz, for teaching the Rams how to play the kind of uptempo, offensively gifted system that did in his new team yesterday? No, because Martz suffered enough kharmic retribution last year for being an arrogant prig that he's in the clear atonement-wise. This is the atonement-free game of the week, everyone is accounted for and it was an exciting shootout for those not in synagogue to enjoy. Good work.
New England Patriots 36, Cincinnati Bengals 13 - Chris Henry, come on down to the bema and grab yourself an atonement card because you are today's winner! Suspended after scoring twice in the rousing win in Pittsburgh the week before, Henry could only watch as his Bengals got their asses whooped by a Patriot team that was on life support a week before. This was a statement game for both teams and the Pats said "We ain't dead yet," while the Bengals will need to do a lot of convincing in the next couple of weeks that this was just a momentary slip and not a sign that the defense isn't up to par. And Chad Johnson? Love the Mohawk, but you were this close to being on the wrong side of the Book of Life for this year. Don't press your luck Chaddie.
Cleveland Browns 24, Oakland Raiders 21 - What the fuck is Art Shell doing on the sidelines? Unless he's repeating the Kaddish over and over again, it's time to atone, Arthur. You were up 21-3 in the second quarter and then got waxed by Charlie Frye, who showed that there's at least one quarterback in the league worse than him by "outdueling" Andrew Walter.
Washington Redskins 36, Jacksonville Jaguars 30 - Santana Moss scored on a sweet catch and run in the first quarter, pulling a spin-o-rama out of the Barry Sanders collection to leave Deon Grant face first in the dirt and give the Redskins a touchdown. In the fourth, Moss made Brian Williams miss on a short dart inside the five that led to another score. So in overtime, who is the one guy you aren't going to let beat you Deon? Brian? Anyone? Bueller?
Chicago Bears 37, Seattle Seahawks 6 - Now, you can't get too down on the Seahawks for losing a road game with Shaun Alexander on the shelf. The Bears defense licks its chops no matter the opponent and were frothing at the chance to play Seattle without Alexander. Even so, Matt Hasselbeck needs to play better than two picks and five sacks. You know, unless he wants to have those games when I play him in fantasy rather than the week when he lights up the Giants for five touchdowns. Not that I'm bitter but that's an atonable offense from where I'm sitting.
Date
Mon 10/02/06, 7:35 am EST
