Week 7: What are the Odds?
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There are some things that Golden Boy and Fatty do exceptionally well, and making picks against the spread is apparently not one of them. Our record for the year is hovering around .500, so we have decided to change things up this week in hopes of changing our luck. Rather than bore you with paragraphs of spotty analysis, we will give you the ten story lines that should be noted. The story lines range from the NFL to MTV so stay with us. But of course. after we have you lured in with some of these story lines, we will we will still give you our picks and a thought or two about each game in an abbreviated fashion. Story lines
Chris Chambers heads to the Whale’s Vagina- San Diego who was starving for talent at the wide receiver position and they have hit the jackpot. Well, not Randy Moss jackpot but pretty much as good as you could hope to get at this time of the year. It wasn’t too long ago that Chris Chambers was a top ten wide receiver in the NFL. He provides them with their first #1 receiver since …. Kellen Winslow? On the fantasy side of it, Chambers is leaving an awful Miami team to join a talent-heavy Chargers Offense. Granted he isn’t playing with Joe Montana or Tom Brady, but Phillip Rivers is still a big upgrade from anything he has played with in the last five years. Look for San Diego to run away with the division. Indy Who? You have to imagine that the Colts might be getting a little annoyed about how the Patriots have already been handed the 2008 Super Bowl trophy when the reigning champs are also undefeated this season. The majority of Dungy’s bye week was probably spent trying figure out how to stop the New England offense. In the past, Jacksonville has given Indy a difficult rime; this year the Colts will make a statement that they shouldn’t be forgotten. Don’t be shocked if they put up 40 this week. Big Blue Confusion- Last year when the Giants had Team Killer Tiki Barber, they usually used his big back up Brandon Jacobs in goal line situations. Now with Jacobs as the lead back, the G-Men have decided to put Jacobs on the sideline during goal line carries and replace him with a smaller Ruben Droughns. And yes, this is just one reason why Fatty’s fantasy team is 1-5. With Derrick Ward in the mix now too, the Giants have become the new Broncos, driving fantasy owners crazy.
Bad Press- Nobody hates Heidi and Spencer more than we do, but wow!! Do you think they had any idea when they signed up for the second season of The Hills that they were going to be portrayed this way? They have edged out Osama as America’s most hated villains. Cinderella is getting dressed for the ball- Southern Florida and Boston College are two and three respectively in the national polls, and they have a legitimate shot of playing each other in the National Championship game. If this interests you, be sure to tune in Thursday night. Southern Florida travels to Rutgers where the crowd will be wild. Things are just too good to be true for Southern Florida, and we expect there to be Pandemonium in Piscataway this week in Jersey. Look for the upset. Clearance sale on rope in Buffalo- Keep your eyes open for any news of a dramatic increase in the suicide rate of Buffalo Bill’s fans. Maybe the most intriguing story of the week is how this team and their fans rebound from the devastating collapse against Dallas two weeks ago. Some may think the bye week helped, we don’t. You have to think the bye week was like adding salt to the wound. Buffalo couldn’t refocus on their next opponent, but instead had an entire week just to sit and think about everything that went so bad in their last game. Here is an investment tip, invest heavily in the liquor stores and funeral homes in the Buffalo area this winter. Moving the chains- If you had a 3rd and 10 and could only throw the ball 7 yards, and you needed a wide receiver to get the next 3 yards on his own, who would you turn to? We would pay a lot of money to have Wes Welker get those 3 yards. Maybe it’s because he is so small that other guys can’t get low enough, or may be it is because he is underestimated because he doesn’t look like much of an athlete. Either way, no one is better at finding the first down marker than Wes. Have the champagne on ice- What is the record for the earliest a team has clinched a division? The Patriots must be a lock to break it this season. They are likely to start 8-0 before playing Indy in week 9 and there is not a decent team in their division. The Hoody- Speaking of the Pats, what will BB do next to continue his status as most hated man in the NFL outside of New England. He refused to shake hands with Mangini last year. Earlier this season, he was caught authorizing the videotaping of other teams’ signals. Last week, up 14 with less than one minute to go, BB has his offense run up the score on Wade “the Diaper Dandy” Phillips. There is no BCS to worry about Bill! What will he do this week? Manny Being Manny- Manny Ramirez is a bad man. In my lifetime I have never seen a hitter more locked in at the plate. But there is a 50% chance when he is playing that he doesn’t know the score of the game… heck it is highly questionable whether he even knows the rules of baseball. Today, he even came out saying who cares if the Sox win. All that aside, he knows how to hit when it counts and right now there is nobody better. Look for Manny to throw his hands in the air in celebration during his sacrifice fly in the third inning.
On to the picks....
Week 7 (home teams in bold)
Baltimore 3 Buffalo It’s going to get ugly between Edwards and (B)losman before it gets better. PICK: Baltimore
Cincinnati 6 NY Jets
Both these teams stink, really stink. NY needs to make a quarterback change and Cincinnati needs to make a defensive change, and by defensive change we mean find 11 new players. Still, the Jets just don’t have enough O to exploit that poor Cincy D. PICK: Bengals
Dallas 9.5 Minnesota
Don't be surprised if Post Dramatic Patriots Syndrome rears it ugly head against Dallas this week and All Day AP and the tough Minn D find a way to keep this close. PICK: Minnesota
Detroit 2 Tampa
Quick visit to the Lounge this week. The Lions heard all about how Jeff Garcia was a "great game manager" who "didn't make mistakes" before they signed him in 2005. He rewarded them with 3 TDs, 6 INTs and a 1-5 record in 6 games. Since then the great Garcia has saved Philly's season and Jon Gruden's job. The Lions won't forget how he wronged them 2 years ago and will turn the Playmate's husband back into the mess he was while starting in Honolulu Blue (yes that's the official color name) for the home team. Take Detroit to bounce back from the ugly loss at Washington like they did in week 4 against the Bears. PICK: Lions And now, because they were such a big hit during the bye week, some random thoughts: - The Red Sox won 3 straight games SEVENTEEN times in 2007 - I don't care what your (or my own) credit score is - Ryan Getzlaf is very good. If you don't know who that is, look it up - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NSlwBaGmjY - It doesn't get much better than a #2 breakfast value meal from McDonald's - Download "Fans" by Kings of Leon
Tennessee 1.5 Houston
Would you rather have 70% of Vince Young or 100% of Kerry Collins? Well I guess it depends if are talking about playing quarterback for you, or trying to score a date rape drug. Pick: Houston
New England 16.5 Miami
New England has covered all year…why should it stop against the worst team in the league? Pick: New England
New Orleans 9.5 Atlanta
Byron Leftwich is able to start his season with the Falcons against the toothless Saints Defense, too bad they are playing the same defense they have been using all year. Pick: New Orleans
Giants 9.5 SF
The cream puff schedule continues for the Big Blue. Giants should get to Dilfer on numerous occasions. Aaron Flossy Rossy will pick another. PICK: G-MEN
Oakland 3 Kansas City
Boomer Esiason had to remove any sharp objects that were within the reach of Shannon Sharpe on Sunday after Tony, Tony, Tony broke his TE scoring record. Someone needs to remind Kansas City that they aren't very good, and Oakland seems like the right candidate for the job. Pick: DA Raiders
Philly 5 Chicago
We predict there will be at least 5 pass interference calls for 25 yards or more in this game. If Brian Westbrook comes out this game with all his limbs attached, call it a win for Philly. PICK: Bears
Seattle 9 St. Louis
The Gus Ferrotte era comes to an end this week in St. Louis, and the Rams, Bulger and Holt fantasy owners are throwing a party. When Orlando Pace and Steven Jackson make an appearance at the party, then we will start picking the Rams again. PICK: Seattle
Washington 8 Arizona
The soup man can't have many more performances like he did last week, if the Redskins want to be a serious playoff contender. Pick: Arizona
Indy 3 Jacksonville
This is a huge statement game for both teams, but all the Jags need to do is keep it close to show that they can play. Indy wants to win by 20 to let everyone know that they, not the Patriots, are the reigning super bowl champs. Indy makes that statement this week. PICK: Indy
Pittsburgh 3.5 Denver Rockies fans will need something to distract them during their 10 day lay off. We still find the Steelers overrated. Pittsburgh finally plays a decent team, and this game should tell us a lot. PICK: Denver
Tip of the Week: How did that Fatty/Golden Boy (Pats/Giants) parlay work out for you? If you listened to us, hopefully you took the Mrs. to some Red Lobster this week with the winnings. This week--As teams' defensive schemes are used more and seen more on film, their opponents will begin to see ways to successfully attack the weaknesses. From now until the weather gets cold, we can expect higher scoring games. Don’t be afraid to bet on more overs than you have in the past; or at least until Vegas makes the necessary adjustment. Well readers, happy betting. -- Fatty and The Golden Boy
