Week 5 Picks
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by Orod412
Week 5 Picks --
[1] Miami at Houston [2] A week after suffering an embarrassing loss to Daunte Culpepper and the Raiders at home, the 0-4 Dolphins travel to Houston to face the surprising Texans. Matt Schaub and the Texans should be able to exploit Miami's defense, which has been laughably horrendous thus far. The Phins haven't looked any better on offense, where Trent Green has been making questionable throws, many off of his back foot, resulting in Green leading the league in interceptions. On a side note--I don't think we'll be hearing any more guarantee's from Joey Porter for the rest of the year. Winner: Houston
[3] Jacksonville at Kansas City [4] It's David Garrard vs. Damon Huard. Um, yeah. But seriously, KC played surprisingly well last week, especially on defense, shutting down the greatest running back on earth in San Diego. With Maurice Jones-Drew having yet been able to break 40 yards a game this year, look for KC to shut down the Jags. Winner: Kansas City
[5] New York at New York [6] The New York Jets travel to...New York, as they square off against the Giants. I've always wondered if there is actually a home team when these two face each other. Do fans show up in one of those hybrid, half one team, half the other jersey's (the ultimate bandwagoner's uniform?) Even with home field thrown out of the window, Eli and Plaxico Burress should light up the Jets defense. Winner: Giants
[7] Carolina at New Orleans [8] The struggling Saints are still looking for their first win of the year as they face another tough challenge in the form of the Panthers, who have played well on the road thus far. Carolina beat the Saints in both of their meetings last season, and with the New Orleans crowd hungry for their good ol' Saints to get back on track, the Superdome should be rockin'. Unfortunately for them, Steve Smith is looking to bounce back after a tough week as well, and will surely eat up a poor Saints secondary. Winner: Carolina
[9] Cleveland at New England [10] Cleveland doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. Winner: New England
[11] Detroit at Washington [12] The Lions are looking sharp on offense, and in a weak NFC look to be on their way to competing for a playoff spot. Washington can't hang with Detroit in an offensive shootout, so their plan should be to keep the Lions defense on the field for as long as possible. Look for the Skins to run the ball a lot, but ultimately end up on the loss column. Winner: Detroit
[13] Atlanta at Tennessee [14] The Titans have the best run defense in the AFC. The Falcons have Joey Harrington. Winner: Tennessee
[15] Arizona at St. Louis [16] Scott Linehan's awful Rams team is the only thing keeping the Dolphins from holding the 'worst team in the NFL' title. I tried to tell you St. Louis, don't mess with anyone who was on a Dolphins coaching staff, but you just wouldn't listen. Winner: St. Louis
[17] Seattle at Pittsburgh [18] The Seahawks look to avenge their Super Bowl XLI loss to the Steelers this week, but Heinz field continues to be one of the toughest places for opponents to win on. Mike Tomlin also looks exactly like Omar Epps, so that's gotta count for something. Winner: Pittsburgh
[19] Tampa Bay at Indianapolis [20] The Bucs have been a nice surprise this year with their defense keeping them in ballgames late. Cadillac Williams' season ending injury is going to hurt them plenty on offense, and until they find a suitable replacement for him, the offense is going to struggle. Winner: Indianapolis
[21] Baltimore at San Fransisco [22] Both teams are 2-2 and haven't played up to their potential thus far. 49ers QB Alex Smith is out with a separated shoulder, so former Raven Trent Dilfer will start in his place. Thanks to the Dolphins Trent Green, TheBigOz.com is naturally extremely weary about any QB named "Trent" so we're going with the Ravens this week. Winner: Baltimore
[23] San Diego at Denver [24] I don't really know if Marty Schottenheimer laughs like a mad scientist, but I like to believe he does. The Chargers are a mess right now, and they face a tough Denver team on the road, where the Broncos secondary will pressure Phillip Rivers into plenty of mistakes. MUA HAHAHAHAHA! Winner: Denver
[25] Chicago at Green Bay [26] Bears coach Lovie Smith went from saying "We're 10-2 with Rex as our quarterback" to "We're 1-3 and Brian is our quarterback." Ouch. Meanwhile, Brett Favre is playing like a man possessed. If this were baseball, this is around the time you'd start to think about the possibility of Brett taking HGH or something. That's really a testament to how far baseball has fallen. An aging vet in baseball struggles for a couple of seasons and gets it together for a magical run? Steroids. An aging vet in football struggles for a couple of seasons and gets it together for a magical run? He found his love for the game. It's ridiculous. Winner: Green Bay
[27] Dallas at Buffalo [28] The Cowboys have looked phenomenal thus far, with Tony Romo already on the receiving end of some MVP talk. You know things are going well if T.O. is on your team and hasn't said a peep. The Bills meanwhile are, well, the Bills. Winner: Dallas
