Wait, what is that smell?
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by Boski93
Oh wait it just review of my weekend picks and commentary.
Cleveland 27 Baltimore 13 – Either Derek Anderson is getting better at his impersonation of an NFL QB, or the Ravens are really hurting. I thinking it’s a little of both. I have to give Anderson credit for making a couple plays. He may do enough to keep the seat warm for a couple weeks. With McNair hurt, you wonder if the Ravens would like to have Derek back. The Ravens secondary looked lost as our president trying to long division. They did however they did do a great impersonation of Elvis Patterson. Wow, do the Ravens miss Trevor Pryce. Pryce’s impact was felt by not only the Ravens, but the Broncos who could have used him, but that is for later.
Green Bay 23 Minnesota 16 So Favre got the record and now the Favre Hype Machine is running at top speed. It is like finding John Madden’s Porn collection, but with fewer midgets. Hey, the guy has earned the accolades, but there are times it just gets rammed down our throats about the greatness of Favre a little too much. Hey we know he is one of the best, but there are other guys out there with G’s on their helmets that have the team undefeated. The Pack now sits at 4-0, but there are still questions. Can or will this team be able to run the ball? Since they will need to if they want to continue to win? Even as well as Favre has played well, you know if they continue to put this all on his shoulders. He will start forcing things and we are back to the 2005 version of #4.
Detroit 37 – Chicago 27 Oh come on, Rex could have done the same thing. Okay that is not fair. It was a black Sunday for the NFC Super Bowl representative. Everyone will say that they are suffering from the Super Bowl hangover. I think it is more like Super Bowl Ebola. I do not know what was worse, making Griese throw the ball 52 times, giving up 34 points in the 4 th, or that the Bears are paying Benson all that money? All of this mixed with the injuries added up to a loss. Hey give the Lions some credit. They are 3-1 and maybe one of the more entertaining teams this year. If they do not score 30+ points they are going to give up 30, maybe 40 and sometimes 50. It maybe a season that could kill Lions fans though, since they may actually flirt with the playoffs, but there may be more games like they had in Philly. So get those crash carts ready.
Atlanta 26 – Houston 16 So did the Falcons get Joey Harrington the Real-QB surgery? Joey has played well the last two week, but then a blind squirrel find a receiver every once in a while. The Texans fast start (for them) is being undermined by attrition. At this rate the Texans may have to drop out of the AFC South and play 8 man football.
Buffalo 17 – New York Jets 13 Losman injury may have gotten worse, you may add sinking feeling to his list of maladies as he watches the rookie lead the Bills to a victory. The Jets were giving homage to their former roommates, the Mets and just slept walk through the game.
Dallas 35 – St. Louis 7 So St. Louis is seeing what Rams fans in Los Angeles had to suffer through in the early to mid 90’s, but this time the team is not trying to run itself into the ground. From the limited sources I have (ESPN NFL Podcast). The Rams may have to wait till Thanksgiving till they have a shot at winning. The Rams are battered and bruised coming in and try to hang around for about a half. That was until the Cowboys got bored and put the beat down on them. I will say Romo had one of most spectacular 4 yards runs you will ever see. The Cowboys are showing they are the class of the NFC. Now, if they do maintain focus, then Week 6 will be very interesting when the Pats roll into town.
Oakland 35 – Miami 17 I think Dante was up for the game, don’t you think? You look at his stat line and wonder how 5-12 for 75 yards is good. Well it is, if you look and see that 40% of his throws went for TD’s. Oh and he did run it in three times himself. The Fins look like they are caught in the drift net of misery that even Greenpeace can’t help with. The Raiders ran up and down the field. Even when they lost La Mont “You Big Dummy” Jordan, Huggy Bear Jr. ran up 179 yards on them.
Tampa Bay 20 – Carolina 7 The Bucs won, but at what cost. It looks like the Bucs may have done more than dent up the Cadillac. They lose Williams for the remainder of the year along with Pettigout. Now we will see if they can get by with Pittman and Graham and a new tackle. Gentlemen, I wish you luck. But then they may have it, since they have been clamping down on people again. As fir Carolina, it must have been an even week they sucked. David Carr I think you need to start looking at homes in Edmonton.
Seattle 23 San Francisco 3 – This one was over after SF’s third play from scrimmage when Rocky Bernard played tent spike with Alex Smith. So instead of a steady diet of Gore's Inconvenient Cutbacks, Gore and the Niners got Florida'd. With Smith’s status unknown the Niners fans will get ready to call in to the talk shows and clamor for the best remaining QB on the roster. Sit down Dilfer, Shaun Hill you sit as well. I am talking about Michael Robinson. The Seahawks just keep marching along. This week they did most of their damage through the air. Which is great, as the running game is still lagging, with a banged up Alexander. The Seahawks are very happy to have Morris back in the lineup.
Arizona 21 Pittsburgh 14 Wait, is that right? Oh it is. Well will you look at that, the Cardinals may actually have a home field that provides them an actual advantage other than sunstroke. The Redbirds actually enforced their will took the Steelers out of their game as Willie Parker only had 39 yards. The Cardinals are still successfully working the two QB system. A platoon system that Leinart is crying about. Hey Matt, the Cards are winning that is something that has been rare in their history. So just let it roll. If you are pissed about it, then start putting in the work jackass.
Indianapolis 38 – Denver 20 Sadly I hit this one right on the head with the final score. Being a Bronco fan it felt more like a kick in the nuts. As the Colts again treated the Broncos like the Gimp from Pulp Fiction, again. The Broncos looked like they had a plan, but it went up in flames. After getting up 10-0 they proceeded to get boat raced 38 – 10 from that point on. The Broncos had a chance to stem the tide and maybe put doubt in the Colts minds, but stalled inside the 5 and settled for a 22 yard FG. The 13 – 7 (which should have been 17 – 7) lead lasted for about 2 Payton Manning ads. The Colts just toyed with the Broncos. The only thing that was a drawback was the number of players who got roughed up. A list, which includes Harrison, Addai, Utrecht and a few others.
Kansas City 30 – San Diego 16 A ten point lead at half for San Diego ended with a 15 point punch in the gut and cries for Marty. It looks like Norv Turner now is going to screw up every NFL team in California. The Niners are not the same without him coordinating. We can’t forget his masterful job in Oakland. And he did coach the Rams, but he was only there one season. I think if we dig we will probably unearth evidence that shows he help bring their eventual departure. As for the Chiefs, Herm is one crazy bastard. A crazy Welcome Sign making bastard, who may just be crazy enough to pull this off. Hell, at 2-2 they have as much of a shot as anyone else in the division. Sammy Parker however was very confused watching Bowe. He was having a trouble handling the concept of WR’s catching footballs.
New York Giants 16 Philadelphia 3 Down goes FRAZIER! Speaking of Frazier, poor McNabb was getting beaten like Frazier, and no not Joe, I am speaking of Marvin Frazier. That was a sick display of pass blocking. Winston InJustice could and should be up on charges for his performance. Andy Reid is also guilty was well for calling all those passes. Hey maybe after sack #7 you may want to have a TE stay in and block. Just a thought. The Giants looked like they may be getting comfortable with their new defensive scheme, but these are the Giants. Which means something, something either bizarre or soul crushing will happen very soon.
New England 34 Cincinnati 13 I told all of you that the Bengals D would show up. They surpassed my expectations. I thought it was going to 35 points, but they held the Pats to 34! Take that 85 Bears! The Pats are just rolling along. Right now injury and boredom may be their biggest obstacles they face. I think by halftime Sunday, everyone will be hyping the Week 6 match up with Dallas.
So it was a bad week.
SU 7 - 7
ATS 7 - 7
Season total SU: 19 - 11 ATS: 12 - 16 - 2
Vegas should send me a car.
Update: Sorry to everyone about the mess and the mistakes. I will do my best not to hang out at Travis Henry's house before doing any more articles. I want to continue to bring you the worst in Pro Football analysis, but you should only have to suffer through the bad picks and not grammar and syntax. Again a thousand apologies for the errors and thank you for your feedback. Strunk and White have been contacted, and they will be delivering a grammar and spelling beat down shortly.
Signed,
Mis-Management
