Untapped At-Bat Music
| 19
|
by user Coreyisarealboy
For years, I've tried to imagine what at-bat music I would employ if I were a major league player. The first question to ask in this type of situation is, "What song will get me pumped up for my at-bat?"
A number of songs fall into that category. I could use "Creatures (For a While)" by 311 like Brady Clark or "Lean Wit it, Rock Wit it" by Dem Franchize Boyz like Rickie Weeks. What about "Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix, Cursive's "Some Red-Handed Sleight of Hand" or maybe even Killswitch Engage's "Element of One" cued at 1:49.
Then I thought about a different route, one exponentially less traveled with at-bat songs. I was always pumped up for games anyway, so why not use the opportunity to mess with the pitcher and defense?
It is in this light that I came up with this list, a collection of a widely untapped market of songs one could use to get inside the pitcher's head. Although there is no statistical evidence or guarantee that they will work, but, hey, at least it will be worth a few laughs brought to you by any major leaguer with reckless abandon for his dignity.
Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl" - This one was actually used by a guy on my college's baseball team. While he may have had the entire dugout splitting their sides, I'm almost positive he went 0-for-4.
Michelle Branch, "Everywhere" - I could imagine this being increasingly effective with a seductive wink in the pitcher's direction. Guaranteed to get you--or your replacement--on base every time.
In the same regard: Anything by Shakira (especially "Hips Don't Lie"), Lindsay Lohan, or Nelly Furtado.
Television Theme Songs - If your name is Charles, why not use the Charles in Charge theme? How about the theme from CHiPS? My personal favorite: the theme from Fraggle Rock.
The Bloodhound Gang, "The Bad Touch" - Perhaps not appropriate for the young fans. However, with lyrics like "Put your hands down my pants, and I'll bet you feel nuts," it's a hilarious addition to any batter's box appearance, definitely worth a few extra practice swings.
WHAM!, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - Simply hearing the song has always conjured up memories of George Michael in tight glow-in-the-dark shorts and matching biker gloves from one of the most homoerotic music videos ever made. Feel free to insert any 80s song in here. Any prolonged scavenging through one's record collection could probably turn up a gaggle of songs like this.
Tenacious D, "Wonderboy" - Probably the most effective in both pumping the batter up and messing with the pitcher, this is a can't miss song. It's levitation, Homes.
Backstreet Boys, "I Want it That Way" - You know what, why don't we put any song on here by a boy band ever created, and that does include anything by the New Kids on the Block. Donnie Wahlberg 4ever.
That's all I have. Feel free to make suggestions. I know you crazy cats on ArmchairGM.com know a few.
Date
Tue 07/11/06, 8:31 am EST
