Tyson to Fight Chicks, Only This Time in the Ring
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by user LastRow
Is there anything better than a good ole fashion chick fight? Remember back in the day when we all used to go running across campus to see two chicks duke it out…Nothing better than to see claws flying and hair being ripped out. If that doesn’t get somebody fired up to go to their fifth period Biology class, what will, right? These are the same thoughts going through the head of Mike Tyson…Shouldn’t Tyson’s head be the one to be dissected instead of the harmless little frog? What did Froggie ever do?
It has been well documented that Tyson likes to beat up woman outside the ring. Hey, I know that was a low blow, but I delivered it better than Tyson has in years. So I have no heart…I have no problem admitting that, because instead of eating Lennox Lewis’s heart, he got to mine first! As Tyson kicks off his world tour…Whatever the hell that means? Since when did Iron Mike become a musician…I was completely unaware of this? Oh, that’s right…On the Jimmy Kimmel show. To help spice up the “World Tour” as it’s dubbed, what better way to do so than to take on boxers…Only this time of the female variety. Makes sense, right? After all they’re about the only ones that he can beat down anymore. Ingenious marketing idea there Mike! This way the beaten of women can be rightfully justified, right? It will never be your fault again for beating up chicks…Because they step into the ring with you, right? Once they step between the ropes it’s “No Holds Barred”. This idea is as good as that lame ass movie!
Although seeing as how this is one of your favorite things to do and you can still do it like no other…I’d like to said good luck and can your life even get sorrier from here. My guess is yes, because every time we say that you seem to out done yourself yet again! Can’t wait to hear of your next career move, but until then I seem to be having trouble with the opposite sex too. Although, I do have a mighty fine suggestion…I don’t know why, but I think your services would be better appreciated if could somehow be a part of the University of Miami football program. Seems there players can use a little knowledge on fighting…And who better to do it than you! Hey, if they don’t make it in the NFL, they could possible end up on “The Contender”, thanks to you! You would be a welcome additional down there…A perfect fix!
I was wondering if Iron Mike can beat the shit out of chicks, why can’t I? Screw that unwriiten rule that states “A Man Should Never Hit a Woman”! They didn’t come out with the song “Smack My Bitch Up” for nothing! I just need some expert advice from Mike as to who I should take to the ring first? Who Mike? Who?
The old battle ax that cut me off today
The old hag at the gym who’s always on the machine I want to use for 10 minutes…not using it properly
The women that can’t control her kids in Wal-Mart
The woman golfer that kicks my ass every time at the local club
The bitch in front of me standing in line at McDonalds who can’t decide what she wants
The bitch who takes her little rat she calls a dog to the local mall in a baby stroller
Sales bitches who don’t leave you alone while at Macy’s
Any women who uses the rear view mirror as a makeup mirror
Any woman who says "Can I Help You Sir"?...If I wanted your help, I'd beat it out of you, in the ring of course!
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