Trev Alberts Returns….PLEASE, NO!

by user LastRow

Good News everybody Trev Alberts has been found… Former Indianapolis Colts wannabe linebacker and football player Trev Alberts was hired by CSTV as a college football analyst, and will team with play-by-play man Tom Hart this season. What on earth did anybody do to deserve this? It was so nice for almost a year that none of us had to hear boo from this knucklehead. Being forced feed cantankerous, passionate and opinionated thoughts from somebody who was trying to impersonate a college football analyst…I’m suddenly thinking of a gadget. Some may have heard of it…It’s called a muzzle!

When every time he opened his yap I wanted to cave in my television so early in the morning. Isn’t that what games are supposed to make us do? Alberts often feuded with Mark May about issues relating to the sport, but the feud never turned (or even appeared to seem) personal. Rece Davis played the role of genial arbitrator to a tee. Now instead of having Alberts outspoken brash of opinions, we now get educated in “Diplomatic 101” by Dean of the Diplomats, Lou Holtz. What’s worse listening to Alberts come up with moronic ways to tell the nation how he bleeds Red or listening to a guy who’s a member of AARP ramble on & on about how a Texas-North Texas matchup is not one sided as it would appear to be? Oh yeah, by the way Trev everyone of us bleeds red…Not too sure if you were aware of that or not? It’s not just a Black Shirts, Cornhusker thing. As for the Texas-North Texas annalist that’s music to my ears.

ESPN fired Trev Alberts after the college football analyst (I used that term loosely) failed to show up for work at ESPN's studios last September. So Trev doesn’t show up for work and he gets the ax, meanwhile Harold Reynolds gives out “Hugs” and gets the same treatment…That makes “Crystal” clear sense to me? Speaking of which, our old pal Trev in addition to his award winning game coverage to grace us this fall, he’ll also be a regular contributor to CSTV's weekly studio program, “Crystal Ball”. Is that game coverage comparable to the ones Brian Bosworth did with the ever popular XFL? Or perhaps I just might’ve stumbled upon something…Whoa, who knew there could be a worse football analyst than “The Boz”?

Mr. Fat Alberts, spent three years at ESPN as a part of its College Football Scoreboard and College Football Gameday teams before getting canned, now has a “Crystal Ball” huh for CSTV. Isn’t this the same network who hired Matt Dorethy as a college basketball guru, since nobody wanted his ass running their basketball program? What is up with this network? Perhaps they should be the ones using Trev’s new, cute, little “Crystal Ball”? For maybe they would see the real reasoning for the firing at ESPN and what a **** Up you truly are!

Now if that wasn’t enough, former Florida State quarterback Chris Rix is also joining the CSTV family, serving as an analyst to the game action called by play-by-play man Jonathan Coachman. I guess the professional football career never really panned out…Hey, Chris & Trev can compare notes on this. What in the hell were the Indianapolis Colts thinking on that? Although Chris never realistically had a chance too succeed…An NFL quarterback must throw the ball to members of his team, not the opposing team. In addition, Rix also has his fair share of issues reporting to places on time too. How’d that Religion Final Exam go for you Rixxy Boy, when you eventually decided to show up for it? There’s no Bobby Bowden here at CSTV to save your ass. Did the contract at CSTV come with an “Alarm Clock” clause in it or did the good folks just give you one to cover their own ass? Just hopefully the parking lot at CSTV has clearly defined all the handicap parking spots…Wouldn’t want to see Chris Ridin Dirty again.

Guess I’m fortunate not to be VIP enough to get College Sports TV on my boob tube? On second thought maybe I am VIP enough not have to pass over this channel and this new dynamic duo. Best of luck CSTV.....Get yourself a new “Crystal Ball”, maybe one that works? Hope the fall isn’t too painful? Can’t hurt worse than listening to Trev Alberts! Help, Help, Please Help, my ears are bleeding…What’d ya know, it’s RED too.

For more, please visit LastRowSports.com

Date

Tue 08/01/06, 4:41 pm EST