Time to Come out of the Closet…
| 2
|
by LastRow
And say I love Ron Zook! Hey, I’m not afraid to admit it…I’m willing to overlook the fact that there’s a good chance he still pronounces the "S" in Illinoisssssssssssssss, but we all have our flaws. Okay, so my love for the man doesn’t run as deep as playing a game of tonsil hockey with the man…Or wouldn’t want to play the game of Pillow Biters vs. Pickle Pirates, but in reality this man possibly just saved my life on Saturday! How so? Well if you varmints had been reading my spits & spats recently, I vowed to jumped off my balcony out back, (I live on the fourth floor) if Ohio State played for another God damn National Championship…Although I must say, the river out back would’ve broken my fall!
Now because of the Fighting Zookers win on Saturday, well, it did two things. First, we realistically have the five best teams in the country up in the BCS top five, (yeah, those cries you hear are coming from Los Angeles & Gainesville respectively). And to that I’d just like to say…Go suck on your mommies, well, you know! However, (and yes there is a however) more importantly than that is the fact that Ron Zook is not only the leading candidate for Frat House President in Champagne…Now, he’s a virtual lock to get the seat! Just judging by his previous stints at frat houses…Well, there’s no better man! Hell, we’ve seen what he can do with Illinois Football, just imagine what he can do with Greek Life!
Sitting here, mid-November…Teams are now making like they’re in line for the women’s bathroom, jockeying for position as they try to punch a ticket to New Orleans, (what the hell do they do in there anyway?). And would you looky there…We have an ESPN favorite sitting on top once again in LSU. Come on, are they really the best team? That’s not as highly debatable as OSWho being number one, but it’s questionable…These cats have more lives than, well, a cat, as they’ve been living on a prayer, (gotta love the Bon Jovi reference)! Although, they are cats, so what do I expect. Most talented team, yes…But just ask Pete Carroll what talent got him in 2006 besides Bevo’s horns stuck up his ass compliments of Vince Young. One thing that we know is, while this is a great time for Big 12 football having three teams in the top five…Um yeah, this is like a love triangle. Too bad shit’s not going to last!
Look, we’re all riding the KU bandwagon…Looking forward to eating at the Mark Mangino Smorgasbord where the theme is, "If you out eat Mark, your food is on us!" I’m guessing that applies literally too considering you’re most likely to yack and blow chunks all over the place if one can actually step up to that challenge! Those are some big shoes, pants, shirts, and whatever Eclipse man wears to fill! No joke! The consolation prize will simply be that one Big 12 team is standing…Now who will that be? Got me hanging by John Kruk’s nut! I could sit here, show my grapes and pick a team…However, if I say Peyton Manning was going to get picked six times last night everybody would’ve looked at me like I had three heads!
In reality it’s a three team race…The top two, followed by the Big 12 representative. Now, ever since the Michigan game, the second game of the year, I’ve been consulting with my doctor to see if he can transform me into a Duck! I figured if they’re "shims" roaming all around, turning their flab-a-dab-a-ding-dongs inside out, why couldn’t I join the Huey, Duey, Louey population and talk like this. Although here’s a question, what’s more likely to happen…Dennis Dixon wins the Heisman? Oregon plays for a National Championship? Or, Mark Mangino signs up for NutriSystem? Hmm…? Tough ones…Although I’m not going to do a Mark McGwire here and leave my grapes in the "Andro Bottle"…I’m going to show off my buddies!
I think we’re all set for a LSU-Oregon National Title game even if the Fighting Mangino’s run the table on their way to the Big 12 Title. Although the second ranked team seems to change more than I change my tighty whities…But I really believe these two will run the table! Oh well, that’s just my thought…However, let it be known I prefer blondes with the name "Candy" over brunettes with the name "Roxy". Whatever that means…But what if that redhead "Cherry", (go figure) shows up in New Orleans, all bets are off!
To be contiuned….
