Three Words I Don't Want to Hear for the Rest of the College Football Season
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by Rawbeezeitz
Michigan, Notre, and Dame
Unless it involves them upsetting a powerhouse like USC or Ohio State, I don’t want to hear these words. I guess if Michigan is followed immediately by “State” that would be fine. MSU isn’t very good, but they’ve actually won games, and will probably come into their in-state rivalry game as favorites to beat the team from Ann Arbor.
The two teams mentioned above will play each other in a game that has lost much of its anticipated meaning. But now the game might take on even more importance for the teams, as at least one of them will have a victory by week 3. Unless they play a game that never ends and continues to be played poorly for an infinite number of overtimes. Would such a hellish fate be too harsh for these two horrible teams?
Here’s the thing: when these two teams are good, nobody shuts up about them. If the Ann Arbor team rattles off a few wins, they’re ranked in the top 5 and constantly highlighted by the sports media. And if the team from South Bend pulls out a few victories, be prepared to be knocked over by a sea of proselytizing Irish fans proclaiming that the glory days of their program are back. It gets annoying to hear about these teams ad naseum, but if they’re winning, there isn’t much for a hater like myself to complain about.
But when they’re losing, it’s time for everyone to shut the hell up! Maybe not right now. Because now is the time to discuss why they’re losing, assess blame, and assassinate Lloyd Carr. It’s time for fans to whine, and haters to laugh. But after a few days, it’s time to forget that these two teams exist and move on to the countless other teams that deserve some attention.
I’m not suggesting a total media blackout regarding these teams. Obviously, we need to hear their scores, maybe see a few plays on ESPN. But it is time for the spotlight to move from South Bend and Ann Arbor, at least for this year. Maybe shift it northwest to Camp Randall. Or maybe as far west as Seattle. How about Morgantown? The Mountaineers are #4, but I haven’t seen or heard much about them on highlight shows. There are plenty of other teams that deserve more attention than these two Midwestern powerhouses gone bad.
And really, once you’ve said that they suck, what else is there to say? Next year they’ll probably be better. But they suck. And they have long roads ahead of them. The team from Ann Arbor has Penn State, Wisconsin, and Ohio State on its schedule. Those are near definite losses. The team will be fortunate to get a bowl invitation from one of those crappy bowl games named after the latest tech company start-up.
The team from South Bend has to play USC and UCLA, as well as #21 Boston College. The way they’re playing, the Duke game might be a challenge for them.
So these two teams suck. And I don’t want to hear that “Coming up on SportsCenter, we’ll analyze Michigan’s loss to Purdue.” Or, “Up next on College GameDay, we’ll preview the Navy, Notre Dame game, the Midshipmen are favored by 2 touchdowns, is that enough?” I’m sick of these two teams. I’m sick of hearing about them. And yes, I just wrote an entire article about them. Now I feel dirty.
