This is the True Life of John Daly…Shocker!
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by user LastRow
Life on the Daly Planet is that of a complex one…It may seem all fun and games, but really is it? As sports fans, we find ourselves trying to relate to professional athletes. I don’t know why…For they’re something that we’re not, nor will we ever be. However, there’s something about John Daly that well, he might be a professional golfer having the ability to crush a golf ball off the tee to reach his planet…Take that away and this giant of a man is actually no different than you or I. Going through problems and having to deal with issues that the "common man" faces, not "professionals". Okay, so most don’t know what it’s like to gamble away millions after missing a gimmie of a putt to win a golf tournament instead of losing it, but the demons that are flying around Daly’s Planet are virtually the same that one might find flying around any ones planet.
To light up a cigarette on the first tee, to keeping the cart girl in business by pounding a case of beer over the course of a round…From visiting Hooters, to making out with Jack Daniels on a regular basis. For proving to the world that TrimSpa doesn’t indeed actually work and there’s only two kinds of people…Those who are fat and well, those who aren’t! From his marriage that have, well, has found the bottom of the lake like some many innocent golfs balls either in failing all together or having the wife get thrown in the slammer. All this is not suppose to happen to a professional athlete, (well, if pro golfers are athletes…Just because they walk the course instead of ride, I’m betting that’s why they’re deemed such).
The scratches on John Daly's cheek appeared during CBS’s coverage of their weekend golf outing raising the question if he got attacked by a cheese grader? Fair question to ask….Contrary to popular belief it wasn’t a cheese grader it was just a good ole fashion steak knife compliments of his lovely wife. The same wife, Sherrie, who pleaded guilty in November 2004 to a charge of conspiracy to structure a transaction to evade the reporting requirement and served a five-month sentence in 2006. See, and you thought you had the only crazy wife on the planet. However, as only women know how to do turn shit around, "poor incident" Mrs. Daly has a different version of the happens. Wow, now there’s a shocker! In her eyes, Daly scratched himself after sexually assaulting his wife in an attempt to make it look like his wife attacked him. Sharrie, are you sure a cat didn’t get a hold of him? Oh yeah, not to mention the fact that she claims Daly sexually assaulted her.
Oh looky, another case of "He Said, She Said"…I love this game, especially when it involves husband & wife. Although in this particular instance neither Daly is the most credible of witnesses due to their well-documented pasts. John Daly has denied his wife's accusations. "It's just not true, Bub. It's just not true. That's all I can say," he told The Commercial Appeal. Asked if he planned to file criminal charges, he said, "Let's just go with that. Nah. It's just not true. She did what she did, and that's all I can say right now." Let me get this straight here…Your wife attempts to improve her Thanksgiving craving skills, "allegedly" on your face and that’s the best you have to say for yourself. Where’s the logic in that? If some bitch wanted to go Ginsu on me criminal charges would be the beginning of her problems, Bub! Although so is life on the Daly Planet where things are never logical! However, allow me to interject a thought here…Looks like golf has taken on a whole new meaning for "Making the Cut", now hasn’t it!
Are we shocked by this latest Daly publicity nightmare? Probably as shocked as we would be if we saw penguins wearing mittens, (think about that one). For somebody who dubs his autobiography —My Life In & Out of the Rough— details his gambling and drinking addictions with one chapter devoted to his three former wives that’s titled, "All My Exes Wear Rolexes," um, I going to go with no here. Yeah, um, no sounds like a good answer. Is it just me, but do I hear somebody shouting out "FOUR" real soon? Sadly, the worst part of this story: John and Sherrie have a 3-year-old son…Nice broken home for sonny to grow up in! We still love ya John…It’s just the way of life on the Daly Planet!
