The Team No One Is Talking About: The Baltimore Ravens
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary…
Public Service Announcement:
Ok here we go! The Baltimore Ravens. Everybody’s Supercharging. Everybody’s Peyton Manninging. If I weren’t such shameless homer, this is the candidate I’d be backing. If I weren’t such a shameless homer, this is the wagon I’d be hitching my ponies to. If memory serves me correct, defense wins football games. If memory serves me correct, defense wins football games in January. Push ‘um back, hit ‘um hard, make ‘um fight for every yard! The Baltimore Ravens own the number one defense in football. They feature two All-Pros. Safety Ed Reed and linebacker Adalius Thomas. They are second against the run. They are sixth against the pass. They lead the AFC in forced takeaways. They are second in the NFL in sacks. Four Ravens have 9.5 or more sacks, led by Trevor Pryce with 13. Here a blitz, there a blitz, everywhere a blitz blitz. These cats have several blitz packages. They come from every possible angle. And keep coming. Down after down. Just like opposing quarterbacks. Down and down again. But most importantly, they are number one in points allowed. The most important stat out there. Your opponent can’t score, your opponent can’t win. Baltimore’s opponents can’t score. Baltimore’s opponents can’t win. Dynamite, our team is dynamite, our team is tick, tick, tick, tick, boom, whoo, tick tick boom whoo! Dynamite!
You too cute to play offense. Not so fast there, Binky. First and ten, do it again. Go Go Go!!! Just because teams stack the line against Jamal Lewis does not mean the Ravens will not try to run it down their throats. We all know Jamal isn’t the runner he was back in 2003. Back in 2003, when he busted out for 2,066. He did go for 1,132 this year. Not too bad. If teams do stop Lewis, the Ravens don’t panic. Why should they? They have a quarterback. A damn fine quarterback. Air McNair. So much better than his stats. He is a winner. He has heart. He is tough. He has done a damn good job this year if I do damn say so my own damn self. Distributing the rock to his receivers. All of them. Each and every one. Tom Brady style. You didn’t think I could go a whole article without mentioning the best football player in the world, did you? Todd Heap. Derrick Mason. Mark Clayton. Rookie, Demetrius Williams. Even fullback Ovie Mughelli. It doesn’t matter. If you’re open, you’ll get the rock. You’ll get the rock because the Raven O-line will give His Airness time to get you the rock. Anchored by Jonathan Ogden, the Ravens play as one machine. It’s all ball-bearings nowadays. One very well oiled machine. A fine tuned machine. A Mean Machine. Not the stupid Adam Sandler version, but the cool Burt Reynolds one. They have not given up a sack in weeks. This Raven club is one very scary football team. Very scary indeed. It’s a club I’m not looking forward to playing in two weeks. Roll Pats roll!!!
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even! josh q. public
