The State of My Golf Game
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by user Croraback22
It is now June 11th and I have played a grand total of 2 "real" rounds of golf, aka I paid $40 to some schmuck for the right to use a golf cart and drink beer on the course without being afraid of getting kicked off. After a winter full of bitching and moaning, false personal promises like "I'm gonna get my short game in order", or "this is the year when the driver comes around" I find myself sitting in the same position I've been in for the last four years. A lot of wasted money, a handicap that is too high for my liking, and a big pile of bullshit lying around my feet about when and how my game will improve. To my credit I've at least stepped up to the plate and fed the golf industry's mouth with hard earned money that in all honesty I didn't have to spend by purchasing about $400 of clubs and another $75 of balls that will inevitably just feed my dissatisfaction by putting increased expectations on my piss poor scores. Granted most people would be happy to have a 17 handicap and be able to hit the ball 275 off the tee every once in a while, but I am not most people (who are generally idiots) and as such will not be satisfied until my handicap is 10 or 11 and I can hit the ball 275 every time off the tea. Why you ask? Because I spent all this goddamn money on equipment and lessons and I watch all these really bad golfers sporting handicaps that are way too close to mine given their swings and scores hack their way around the course and then come back with a score that is three shots less than mine. At this point I've decided something needs to change and this summer I know what it is....I just need to start lying more about my score because clearly hard work will get you no where on the course and when it comes to be tournament time at the end of the summer I want to be able to walk up to the registration booth, slap down my inflated handicap, and end up competing with golfers who are way out of my league but have the satisfaction of knowing that I found a way to "shave" those last 6 shots off of my handicap. I mean who's counting besides me?
