The Starting Lineups for the No-Star Teams
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by user Tmizzle
This is kind of the opposite of picking an All-Star Team. Instead of the best players in each league, I'm making starting lineups out of the worst/most disappointing players in each of the leagues. These selections were voted upon (through secret ballot) by me, which means they are slightly more objective than the real All-Star balloting.
National League No-Stars
Starting Lineup:
C- Michael Barrett, Chicago Cubs/San Diego Padres
A catcher is generally supposed to develop a good rapport with his pitchers. Barrett isn't exactly great at playing well with others (Just ask A.J. Pierzynski). Also, if you're going to feud with a pitcher, don't go after the 6-foot, 5-inch, 255-pound ace of your staff. Go after Carlos Marmol instead.
Also considered: Brad Ausmus, Houston Astros
1B- Carlos Delgado, New York Mets
This was an easy call. Delgado passed the "struggling" phase about a month ago, and it's seriously in question whether he's fallen off the edge of a cliff, talent-wise. He's batting only .225 so far this year, and he's looked even worse than that average. There are times it looks as though he's just lost at the plate.
Also considered: Adam LaRoche, Pittsburgh Pirates
2B- Craig Biggio, Houston Astros
Yes, he's only 11 hits away from 3,000 for his career. Is that incredibly impressive? Absolutely. Is this still a legitimate benchmark for the Hall of Fame, unlike 500 home runs? You betcha. Is Biggio killing his team by staying in the lineup to pursue this record? Undoubtedly. Just looking at the statistics, is there any other team that would play a 41-year-old second baseman with a .238 batting average and a .279 OBP? I don't think so. I'm not faulting the Astros here, they're rewarding Biggio for his loyalty. But Biggio should really step aside, so the Astros have a chance to compete in the weak NL Central.
Also considered: Ray Durham, San Francisco Giants
3B- Wilson Betemit, Los Angeles Dodgers
The Dodgers acquired Betemet from the Braves last year at the trade deadline, presumably to shore up the 3rd base position. So far this year, he's batted .198 and lost his starting position. The Dodgers have decided to move Nomar across the diamond to give James Loney a chance at first base. My question is, what took them so long?
Also considered: Ryan Zimmerman, Washington Nationals
SS- Omar Vizquel, San Francisco Giants
Shortstop is a very stacked position in the National League. Rollins, Reyes, Renteria, Ramirez, Furcal, Hardy...all are great, and very young. Vizquel is great defensively, a magician, if you will. But you cannot hide him in the already weak Giants lineup. I mean, he's batting .236 with a .288 OBP. He's a Hall of Famer, for sure, but he's also inadequate as a major league hitter.
Also considered: Khalil Greene, San Diego Padres
OF- Andruw Jones, Atlanta Braves
Andrew is the MVP of this team. This is his contract year, and he's playing like he's a rookie fresh from Triple-A. He's never been one for high averages (his highest was .303 in 2000, but I consider that to be a fluke, as before that his high-water mark was at .277), but .197 is just pathetic. He's slower in the outfield, he's slower at the plate, and it looks like he's killing himself financially. If he keeps this up, the Braves just might be able to resign him.
OF- Pat Burrell, Philadelphia Phillies
Burrell had a career year in 2002, batting .282 with 37 HR and 116 RBI. Last year he struggled with a lower average, but still managed to hit 29 HR and 95 RBI. He is struggling mightily this year (.205 average, 8 HR and 31 RBI) but he mainly gets this spot because of his perception as a deadbeat among the legions of Phillies fans.
OF- Juan Pierre, Los Angeles Dodgers
I'm reluctant to put Pierre in this, because it's not really a disappointment that he's batting .276 with a .307 OBP and a wet noodle for an arm in center field. I mean, he would generally fall under the "bad" provision of my No-Stars team.
OFs also considered: Ryan Langerhans (got traded twice in a week!), Washington Nationals, Carlos Quentin, Arizona Diamondbacks
Starting Pitcher: Kip Wells, St. Louis Cardinals
This may have been the easiest to pick of all the positions. 3-11 with a 6.45 ERA, and I don't think I really need to expand on that.
Also considered: Barry Zito, San Francisco Giants, for being paid so much and having a 4.83 ERA.
American League No-Stars:
Starting Lineup:
C- Jason Kendall, Oakland Athletics
NO-STARS MVP ALERT! Someone please explain to me why this man still has a job. A .213 BA, .250 OBP, no power whatsoever (a .254 slugging percentage), and he can't throw (only 12 thrown out in 60 chances).
Also considered: Nobody. That's how bad he is.
1B- Paul Konerko, Chicago White Sox
2005's World Series MVP is a member of this team because he's also fallen off the earth. A .246 average, only 12 HR (he had 35 and 40 the past two years, respectively), and his OBP is down by 42 points off last year's pace.
Also considered: Richie Sexson, Seattle Mariners (for being paid so much and being so bad).
2B- Ian Kinsler, Texas Rangers
Kinsler's fallen off the map after a hot April start. I said to keep an eye on him. Then he proceeded to hit .174 in May, with only one HR and and 5 RBI. Good call by me, I managed to pick this year's Chris Shelton.
Also considered: Robinson Cano, New York Yankees, for his dropoff (which was kind of expected, he can't hit .342 every year).
3B- Eric Chavez, Oakland Athletics
This is his second disappointing offensive season in a row, hitting under .250 with little power and it's only his special defensive ability that keeps the Oakland third basemen from losing his spot. Remember when it was Jason Giambi, Miguel Tejada, and Chavez in the same infield? And Zito, Hudson, and Mulder in the rotation? How did they not win a World Series with those teams?
Also considered: Nick Punto, Minnesota Twins, who gets a pass for having to learn a new position full-time.
SS- Julio Lugo, Boston Red Sox
This was a unanimous selection. A 4-year, $36 million waste of space on the infield. He's subpar defensively, and this year, he's subpar offensively (.191 BA, .256 OBP, 4 HR, 34 RBI). I still say they should have kept Orlando Cabrera after the 2004 season.
Also considered: Bobby Crosby, Oakland Athletics
OF- Jermaine Dye, Chicago White Sox
Dye was one of the best hitters in the American League last year, but he's gone into the tank as badly as the White Sox, and now he's going to be traded, it looks like. I made the stupid mistake of picking him over Vlad Guerrero as the best right fielder in the AL. That was really dumb of me, but I'm an idiot, so it fits my MO.
OF- Corey Patterson, Baltimore Orioles
Patterson's got the lowest batting average of any regular outfielder in the American League. He reminds me of Willy Mays Hayes from Major League. As Hayes is once told, "You may run like Mays, but you hit like shit." Patterson has 13 stolen bases and nothing else of value.
OF- J.D. Drew, Boston Red Sox
Again, a case of being paid too much and not doing enough. Drew has a .250 average, only 17 XBH, and millions upon millions of dollars.
Also considered: Vernon Wells, Toronto Blue Jays, and Johnny Damon, New York Yankees
Starting Pitcher: Carl Pavano, New York Yankees
Pavano gets the lifetime achievement award from me for the No-Stars team. He was able to win 5 games in 4 years. That is definitely worth $40 million. This year, he managed two starts before having to have Tommy John surgery.
Also considered: Craig Monroe, Chicago White Sox, and Coco Crisp, Boston Red Sox
And he had a "career year in 2005?" his 2002 campaign featured 37HRs 116 RBIs and a .282 avg...yeah yeah...i'll give it to you...its really close, but 2002 is the reason he has the contract he does
It saddens me that I wasn't able to do the 2007 edition (I waited until they announced the starting lineups)...as i did both an AL and NL versions...sigh...