The Sports Doctor Writes a Letter to Alex Rodriguez

by AWeiner18

Dear Mr. Alex Rodriguez,

After analyzing your recent actions, I have officially concluded that you have shown severe signs of egocentrism, a disease that makes you focus solely on yourself rather than the team you are associated with. I must warn you that this disease carries horrendous after effects: it forces the media and fans to hate you because your personality shows you only care about yourself and as a result, you will not be able to accomplish your primary goal in professional baseball: winning a World Series.

As your doctor, I must prescribe the following for this toxic disease: stay away from Detroit.

I would not waste your valuable time and energy contacting Dave Dombrowski to see if the Tigers are interested in employing you because the Tigers are a team that cannot afford a person with such an infectious disease such as yours.

Even though Jim Leyland is a fine surgeon when it comes to repairing not only teams but the hearts of players as well, you are a patient with symptoms that I feel he cannot cure especially after he read the following headlines in newspapers:

• October 29 th : Alex Rodriguez opts out of contract with New York Yankees
• October 29 th : Rodriguez not in attendance to accept Hank Aaron award; opts out of deal.
• October 29 th : Boston Red Sox win World Series in wake of Rodriguez opting out of his contract.
• November 2 nd : Agent Scott Boras tells Yankees they must offer to pay $350 million in order to meet with Rodriguez

After gazing and marveling at your achievements on Wikipedia for an hour, I must applaud you for your eleven All-Star appearances as well as your two MVP awards. Even though you are one of the most well-established players in the game during the regular season—especially after last season in which you posted a .314 batting average, 54 home runs, and 156 runs batted in—the Tigers will not only refuse to pay you $350 million to perform solely in the regular season, they will not pay you due to your frightening disease.

Now you might ask: why is Dombroski able to get along with egocentric players like Barry Bonds and Gary Sheffield but not you? The answer to your question is simple: he not only dealt with the players when they were in their twenties but he also experienced postseason success with those players.

Unfortunately Mr. Rodriguez, I am sorry to say that your recent development of egocentrism is, in fact, a result of your total lack of productivity in the playoffs.

I advise Leyland not to perform your surgery because your money has not gotten you to the World Series, you have been hitless in your past eighteen playoff at-bats with runners in scoring position, and your four for fifteen with one Runs-Batted-In statistics against the Cleveland Indians show you are nowhere close to be characterized as "Mr. October."

As your doctor, I have created a simple hypothesis that will help you find a home that is right for you. According to your past records, I can see that you have thrived in smaller markets that are competitive, thus if you sign with a competitive team that is not in a city like Detroit, Boston, New York, or Los Angeles, your disease may end up being treatable and perhaps your disease can be cured.

Therefore, if you truly care about curing your disease and if you truly care about your baseball career, then you need to be willing to not be titled the richest man in sports. Even if it means you make $20 million a year rather than $30 million, you should thank the owner for paying you and focus on breaking Barry Bond’s home run record and, most importantly, winning a World Series. In fact, if you really want to look good, you should put a clause in your contract stating that if you do not reach a specific goal in the postseason, a portion of your bonus money will go to local schools or hospitals.

If you take my advice to heart, not only will you fix the perception that you only play for the money, people will see you, Mr. Rodriguez, as one of the greatest players ever to play the game.

People will see you as a winner.

Sincerely Yours,

The Sports Doctor