The Sport of Flip-Flopping
| 8
|
by user LastRow
It’s Alive…It’s Alive…Oh my God, it’s alive! Yes, after a week of lying on my deathbed and some unforeseen technical issues, I finally gathered enough steam to make the long hike up those steps to reinsert my hinny where it belongs in the Last Row. For those that don’t know where I disappeared to, shame on you for not reading my posts, because if you were you would’ve known I was trying to stop one of my hommies from jumping off a cliff…Some call it marriage. Turns out my gift from the groom for trying to save his life, AKA being part of his wedding, was actually quite nice…A sore throat and stuffed up head. Spraying mucus everywhere for a week…Gotta love that! Although as everybody can see, I’m back with an abundance of energy…Might have something to do with that triple shot of that Rockstar drink I just guzzled. That should help me in the gym after I finish pecking away at this keyboard.
Hey, summer’s here…That means extra time in the gym. It’s going to take a lot to transfer this body from the Howie "Schwab" look to one of Joey Chestnut…I hope hot dogs are optional. Summertime is known for two things…The beach and showing off the body sporting those flip-flops or thongs, (the ones that go on the feet…GOSH!) whichever one might refer to them. What has been known for beach wear forever now…Well, it’s appears more and more in sports.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FA4pgsKScUc
It’s amazing, but "Flip-Flops" are making quite the noise in the sporting world…Particularly this year and more so recently. On the heels of the whole Billy Donovan jam job to the Orlando Magic, why just last week we had the whole Kobe Bryant "trade me, but I love playing for this team" thing. Few weeks before that it was one of the Mainstay Flip-Floppers himself reappearing and the question was who’s going to win the whole "Roger Clemens sweepstakes". Not to be out done, the other King Flip Flopper the one, the only Brett Favre, made headlines for flip-flopping on his decision to attend Packers mini-camp.
By now the Brett & Roger act has gotten real old…Why they are the Godfathers of this new club. It’s gotten old enough to where I don’t even tune an ear to it. Something my friend who just married will eventually learn to use in his new happy home. However, what about these two latest inductees in this club…Kobe Bryant & Billy Donovan. Um Kobe, if you’re going to open up your cake hole…The least you can do is be a man about it and not soften stance time and again after bumping your lips together for Stephen A. Smith. Almost making like a groundhog…Coming out to see your shadow and then crawling back inside. Um, didn’t you make this bed you lie in? On second thought…Your wife did, by not allowing you to sign with Chicago. How did Jerry Buss lie…He told you they wanted to rebuild with you…Sounds like the truth to me. Although you were just too dumb to see that his plans weren’t really going to work…That’s not being lied to. That’s just being stupid & hearing what you want to hear.
Last week I heard you emphatically say that you wanted out of Los Angeles, just as Billy Donovan said that he "wanted a new challenge". Hey Billy, that must’ve been a hell of a challenge…A whole 24 hours! Great job! "Oh the Orlando Magic pressured me into a decision right away!" Um Billy Bob, um yeah, they had no other candidates…They weren’t going anywhere. The Magic were going to wait for an answer from you until the cows came home. Funny…Pressure, for one of the college best pressure coaches somehow now you felt pressure. Nice cop out…Yeah, the dog ate my homework too! What, did it finally dawn on you that the three-point line was further back in the NBA? Or was it that Orlando didn’t nearly have the amount of Waffle Houses that Gainesville has? I see you took notes when listening to all of Kobe’s public service messages last week. Somehow, and I don’t know how this is, but Billy, you were the only one who couldn’t figure out before you signed the contract on Friday that you were committing career suicide…See, there was a reason why Coach K said no to the Lakers. Waffle Houses in Orlando can butter your bread more, but only the ones in G-Ville know just the way you like it. But see Billy, professionals weigh all their options before making a business decision, thinking long and hard about it, not after…Before signing their John Hancock to the contract, not after! What you pulled is nothing more than antics found on any college campus all over the country.
How is it in both of these situations, (Kobe & Billy) everybody else knew what was in store for them, except them, themselves. Kobe was up for a "new challenge"…Thought it was going to be so glamorous in L.A. without Shaq. He was all fired up to be the man out in Los Angeles…How you sleeping in your bed now chief? You’re still sleeping in "your bed", aren’t you Kobe? While Donovan had in his pee picking skull that he was so different than any other college coach that has made the leap to the NBA and has failed. Yeah, too bad that leap…Well it’s off of a cliff! And in three years BD would be taking that leap as well, but not to worry as he would’ve landed back in college. Although now despite copping out of his "new challenge", heading back to where his bread is buttered to his liking…He’s also in need of some serious reputation rebuilding. Although it shouldn’t be hard, just ask Kobe…I think he knows a thing or two about that.
One thing I would like to suggest, now this might be my corrupted way of thinking. If I were the Magic, I’d force Donovan to honor his deal and then after one season I’d fire his ass to really screw with him! No G-Ville, No O-Town…See Billy, you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns! This is the True Life of the Professional Ranks! And for Kobe, well it’s very simple…You’re stuck where you’re at Jack! So just sit back, relax and enjoy all that smog!
Time to hit the gym to get buff and then it’s off to the beach to show off the toes…I just bought meself some brand new flip-flops!
